Episode 120 - How To Bounce Back From Divorce with Jeremy D Murphy
Sep 9, 2023
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Jeremy D Murphy, a former MMA fighter turned coach, shares his journey of bouncing back from divorce and finding purpose. He discusses the FIGHT acronym and its role in transforming pain into motivation. Through candid storytelling, Jeremy addresses the challenges older men face post-divorce, from grief to rebuilding self-confidence. He emphasizes the importance of community support and personal inventory in this process. Listeners will find inspiration in his message of resilience, self-discovery, and the power of connection.
Divorce can trigger a crisis of purpose for men, prompting a vital need to reestablish their identity and direction post-separation.
The 'FIGHT' framework helps individuals transform their pain into motivation by identifying new personal and social purposes after divorce.
Building a strong support network of friends and mentors provides emotional stability and accountability crucial for recovering from divorce.
Faith plays an essential role in healing, allowing individuals to embrace resilience and maintain hope while navigating their emotional journeys.
Deep dives
The Impact of Divorce on Purpose
Divorce often leads to a crisis of purpose, particularly for men, as they grapple with losing what they once believed defined them. The dissolution of a marriage can cause feelings of inadequacy, pain, and depression, as traditional roles of protection and provision are challenged. Many men may feel lost when their familial structures crumble, leading them to question their identity and purpose. It's essential to understand this loss of purpose can spiral into deeper emotional struggles, emphasizing the importance of re-establishing one's sense of self after such significant life changes.
Transforming Pain into Purpose
The process of bouncing back from divorce can be framed as a journey of transforming pain into purpose using a structured acronym, 'FIGHT.' This framework encourages individuals to harness their struggles and experiences as motivation for personal growth. One pivotal aspect is the identification of what one's new purpose will be, both personally and socially. By channeling difficulties into a renewed focus, men can emerge from personal crises stronger and more defined in their aspirations.
The Importance of Community and Support
Building a support network is crucial for men navigating through challenging times like divorce. A community of understanding friends and mentors can provide emotional stability and practical advice during times of turmoil. Regular interaction and honest conversations with trusted peers allow for shared experiences, reducing feelings of isolation. Cultivating these relationships serves not just as a means of accountability, but also as a source of strength for recovery and personal development.
The Role of Faith in Recovery
Faith is a fundamental component in the process of healing from the pain of divorce and reestablishing a sense of direction. This faith can manifest in various ways, including a belief in a higher power, acceptance of one's current situation, and trust in the journey ahead. Developing faith allows individuals to foster resilience, encouraging a perspective that embraces hope and possibilities for the future. By engaging in spiritual practices or personal reflection, men can better navigate their emotional landscape and strengthen their resolve.
Taking Inventory for Personal Growth
An essential step in reclaiming one's life post-divorce involves taking a thorough inventory of external and internal resources. Evaluating what assets, skills, and relationships remain allows for a clearer understanding of one's current position. Internal assessment also aids in recognizing what personal traits and past decisions contributed to previous struggles. By acknowledging both strengths and weaknesses, men can develop actionable goals to improve their circumstances and reorient their paths forward.
Establishing New Habits for Success
Creating effective habits is integral to the process of rebuilding and fostering a fulfilling life after divorce. Daily, weekly, and monthly routines can provide structure and direction as men work towards their new goals. Tracking these habits allows for reflection and identification of progress, thereby reinforcing positive actions. By implementing specific changes in lifestyle and behaviors, individuals can cultivate an environment conducive to personal growth and success.
Curating a Supportive Team
Assembling a supportive team of peers, mentors, and coaches can provide the necessary guidance and encouragement needed during the recovery journey. This team should consist of individuals who embody qualities such as humility, hard work, and a willingness to support others’ growth. Each team member plays a distinct role, from offering emotional support to providing strategic advice. By having a diverse group of trusted individuals, men can ensure that they have the resources and insights needed to navigate post-divorce life effectively.
How do you bounce back from divorce? How does the KING cultivate and create FIGHT to find purpose once he loses his QUEEN and has to build a new KINGDOM?
Jeremy 'D' Murphy is a former MMA fighter turned coach, personal trainer, and now teacher who is helping men turn their pain into purpose.
He does this using the FIGHT acronym. Find out just what that means in today's epic Over 40 Alpha podcast episode that is designed to help you cultivate and create the FIGHT you need to find purpose and bounce back from divorce!
Meeting his first love in high school, getting married, having children, doing the best he could, fighting MMA, and losing a father figure all left Jeremy feeling like he was going through the motions in a marriage without intimacy.
There will be a lot of men in the Over 40 Alpha community who will relate to Jeremy's story: why he pulled the trigger on getting divorced when he felt that life was passing him by, and how he then got up from the canvas and overcame his depression.
This is about the power of reaching out to men in your community, becoming the phoenix who rises from the ashes, and finding a faith that you can practically work with.
This is about taking external and internal inventory to build your confidence and realize you have more than you thought. This is “Solventry”.
These are just some of the powerful themes Jeremy and Funk dive deep on in this epic, empowering episode.
Learn how to achieve a 360 degree view of your life that will make it hard for you not to win. Tune in, turn up, show up. This is our purpose. It's time to F.I.G.H.T back! "Faith can be practical. Faith can be: what does your self-talk look like? What do you tell yourself when you're doing well? What do you tell yourself when you didn't do so well? How do you re-program yourself to be on your own team?" – Jeremy Murphy
In This Episode:
Jeremy shares his origin story: Meeting his wife in his high school and fighting MMA
How did Jeremy deal with the challenges of feeling alienated after his divorce when friends didn't reach out?
How do you fill yourself up with self-love and 'feed the right beast'?
Fulfilling an unspoken promise to be better than you've ever been before
Breaking down Faith: seeing practical ways to connect with yourself through self-talk
What does taking internal and external inventory look like?
Unpacking our innate desire to live beyond ourselves and impact others
How to show your wife that you are a strong man who is working for his purpose
Why every man needs 3 to 5 other humble, hard working, honorable men in his team
