“Just Tell Me What You Need Me To Do!” Resentment From Having to Remind or Delegate Responsibilities to Your Partner: Episode 238

Having frustrations and feelings of resentment over your roles and responsibilities is a common thing we hear. One parter is frustrated about not getting help, then the response they get is: “just tell me what you need me to do” OR “I’m happy to help, just tell me what” OR sometimes “it’s your job, you stay at home, I work, so just get it done".

This is frustrating for both partners, and triggers defensivness and often a conflict. This is because: 

• For the partner having to remind: it feels like it’s one person’s responsibility to “own” the housework. It can feel like parenting your partner. 
• For the partner feeling blindsided: I just don’t see those things, I wish you’d tell me before you get so frustrated, they feel like a lot of emotion comes at them suddenly.

In this episode you will hear the main sources of this dynamic and what you can do differently to get back on the same page and feeling supported and loved in the roles and responsibilities you choose.

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