#173 - What Makes a Friendship Last: Lessons from 40 Years (with Sunny & Jenn)

The Real Work Behind Lifelong Friendship

This week I’m joined by two women who accidentally went viral on social media, but they've been doing the real work of close friendship for over four decades. I'm a BIG fan and begged them to let me examine their friendship on the show. Meet Jenn Sherman (who you might know from Peloton) and Pam “Sunny” Sunshine who are the best friends behind the popular @sunnyandjenn accounts on TikTok and Instagram.

Jenn and Pam's story is fun (truly wild TikTok origin included), but the real gold is how they’ve stayed close through many stages of life—college, moves, careers, parenting, vacations, losses, and now a shared business.

If you’ve ever wondered why some friendships last and others quietly fade, this episode is packed with answers you can use with old friends and new friends alike.

HIGHLIGHTS FROM OUR CONVERSATION:

• Why “luck” isn’t enough for close friendship — The role of effort, showing up, and consistency.
• Proximity matters — How living close (or “close enough”) keeps friendships alive. When making NEW friends, keep this in mind! 
• Scheduling is everything — Coffee dates, beach days, girls’ trips: it's all about the calendar.
• The 200-hour rule — How friendships actually deepen over accumulated time.
• Cheering, not competing — Celebrating your friends' wins without jealousy.
• Handling conflict early — Sunny’s “lumpy rug” rule and why resentment ruins trust. Plus some other great "Sunnyisms."
• New friends later in life — Why it’s never too late for a deep connection.
• The viral TikTok moment — How a random street interview changed everything and a business was born.

LINKS MENTIONED:

• Follow @sunnyandjenn on TikTok and Instagram 
• Jenn on Peloton (if you’re a rider, you already know)
• Lindsay Pinchuk's Dear FoundHer community 
• Sunny & Jenn's live show! Tickets for the December show in Aventura, Florida are here. 
• The Beaches episode of Dear Nina where two psychology professors join me and producer, Rebekah Jacobs, to analyze CC Bloom and Hillary Whitney's friendship.

MEET JENN SHERMAN AND PAM SUNSHINE:

Sunny and Jenn are lifelong best friends turned content creators, sharing their journey with audiences on Instagram and TikTok. Friends for more than 40 years, they bring humor, honesty, and heart to everything they do — from wellness and midlife shifts to the everyday moments of friendship. Their platforms celebrate living authentically, laughing often, and reminding people that the best parts of life are meant to be shared.

ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO

📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina

📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack

❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group

📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question

🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.

This week’s sponsor is one of my favorite authors, Kristin Nilsen, with her latest novel THE SCOTT FENWICK DIARES. Find links to buy the book and learn more here: https://kristinnilsenbooks.com/

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