148. Understanding ADHD in our 20s ft. Ellie Middelton
Dec 1, 2023
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Join Ellie Middelton, a content creator and author of 'Unmasked,' who was diagnosed with ADHD and autism at 23. She discusses the often-overlooked neurodivergence in women and debunks misconceptions about ADHD and autism. Ellie emphasizes the importance of self-diagnosis, navigating life with neurodivergence in your 20s, and the need to challenge societal expectations. Her insights on personal agency, community support, and redefining success resonate with anyone seeking authenticity and connection in their journey.
Women often struggle to receive a diagnosis and have their symptoms recognized for ADHD and autism, leading to misdiagnoses and delayed identification.
Masking is a coping mechanism developed by neurodivergent individuals to conform to societal norms and expectations, at the expense of their well-being.
Connecting with online communities, self-diagnosis, and sharing lived experiences can provide validation, support, and insights for individuals suspecting they have ADHD or autism.
Deep dives
The Complexity of Diagnosing ADHD and Autism in Women
Women often struggle to receive a diagnosis and have their symptoms recognized for ADHD and autism. The diagnostic criteria and research are largely based on the experiences of young, middle-class white boys, leading to misdiagnoses and missed diagnoses in women and marginalized groups. The criteria do not account for the differences in gender, socialization, and experiences of diverse individuals. Many women are initially diagnosed with conditions like anxiety or mood disorders instead of ADHD or autism, further delaying proper identification. Gender biases and stereotypes also contribute to the misdiagnosis and dismissal of symptoms. Self-diagnosis is valid and necessary in the current state of limited access to healthcare professionals and long waiting lists for assessments. Connecting with online communities and finding individuals with similar lived experiences can provide validation and support.
The Impact of Masking in Neurodivergent Individuals
Masking is the act of hiding or suppressing neurodivergent traits to appear more neurotypical. It is a coping mechanism developed to navigate a world that is not designed for neurodiverse individuals. Masking involves consciously or unconsciously conforming to societal norms and expectations, often at the expense of one's own well-being. Masking can include behaviors like maintaining eye contact, suppressing stimming (e.g., repetitive movements), and camouflaging sensory sensitivities. It is important to recognize that masking is not a choice but a response to social pressures and a desire to fit in. Understanding and accepting one's neurodivergent traits can lead to self-acceptance and the development of strategies that prioritize well-being and accommodate individual needs.
Seeking Validation and Support in Neurodivergent Communities
For individuals who suspect they may have ADHD or autism, seeking validation and support from online communities can be instrumental. Connecting with individuals who share similar experiences and identities provides a sense of validation and helps in understanding one's own neurodivergent traits. Self-diagnosis, while not a replacement for medical assessment, can be valid and necessary in the absence of accessible healthcare services or long waiting lists. Engaging in conversations and hearing others' stories of lived experiences can offer insights and a sense of belonging. Building friendships within neurodivergent communities, both online and offline, can be transformative and provide invaluable support throughout the diagnostic journey and beyond.
Literal Thinking and Real Life
One aspect of neurodivergence that is often misunderstood is literal thinking. While it is commonly believed that autistic individuals struggle with understanding jokes or sarcasm, the reality is that literal thinking extends beyond that. It involves taking words at face value and processing information based on the literal meaning conveyed. For example, someone with literal thinking might believe something to be true simply because it was stated, without considering its context or underlying intentions. This can lead to misunderstandings and difficulties in interpersonal communication.
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and its Impact
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is a significant aspect of ADHD that deserves more attention and understanding. RSD refers to an intense emotional response triggered by perceived or real rejection. It can cause a person to feel overwhelmed, as if the entire world is closing in on them. Unfortunately, RSD often leads to misdiagnosis or the dismissal of symptoms as anxiety or mood swings. This is particularly true for women, who may experience extreme emotional reactions that are incorrectly attributed to hormonal factors. Recognizing RSD and its impact is crucial in providing appropriate support and intervention for individuals with ADHD.
In 2021, Ellie Middelton received a diagnosis of ADHD and autism at the age of 23. It was one of the best things that happened to her. Today, she joins us to discuss why neurodivergence is typically overlooked in women, the misconceptions we have about ADHD and autism, unmasking and how to navigate a diagnosis later in life. She also discusses how to manage neurodivergence in our 20s, why self diagnosis is valid, and why the path people want you to take, may not always be the one for you. Listen now!
