Secondhand Therapy Disrespect and Adults Getting in Trouble | #028
Feb 12, 2024
Michael opens up about his ongoing struggle with people-pleasing and feeling perpetually 'in trouble' as an adult. The discussion shifts to the importance of authentic communication and childhood influences on self-acceptance. Lou contrasts their views on respect, sharing a humorous toothpaste incident, while Michael explores his need for validation from his younger self. They engage in a therapeutic technique of visualizing their younger selves, reflecting on how past fears shape their current lives and the quest for approval.
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Fear Of Being 'In Trouble' Is Rooted In Childhood
- Michael links a persistent fear of "being in trouble" to childhood people-pleasing and not being able to be authentic.
- He equates "trouble" with making others upset and losing approval, which drives chronic accommodation.
Not Rocking The Boat Silences Authenticity
- Michael connects people-pleasing to childhood rules to "not rock the boat," which suppressed his authentic self.
- That suppression led him to avoid asserting needs and saying no to prevent imagined consequences.
Toothpaste In The Sink
- Lou recounts Michael leaving a large gob of toothpaste in an Airbnb sink and Michael shrugging "don't give a fuck."
- The story illustrates Michael's unconscious selfishness versus Lou's attention-to-detail standards.