Orion Taraban, a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in men's health and relationships, joins the conversation to dissect the sexual marketplace dynamics. He discusses how understanding personal value can enhance attraction, emphasizing that love isn't always tied to attraction. The intriguing 'Captain and Passenger' metaphor sheds light on evolving gender roles. Orion also tackles issues like the Madonna-Whore complex and the communication barriers that hinder intimacy, providing insights to improve connection and navigational skills in relationships.
01:25:32
forum Ask episode
web_stories AI Snips
view_agenda Chapters
menu_book Books
auto_awesome Transcript
info_circle Episode notes
insights INSIGHT
Relationships as Sexual Marketplace
Relationships can be viewed as a sexual marketplace based on perceived value and attraction rules.
The man offering the most perceived value generally secures the partner.
insights INSIGHT
Captain and Passenger Roles
Women can be captains or passengers in relationships; men face pressures to be captains.
Contemporary feminism empowers women to lead, but men rarely opt to be passengers due to incentives.
insights INSIGHT
Love Versus Attraction
Love and attraction are largely separate; love complicates sexual desire.
The Madonna-Whore Complex illustrates challenges of combining long-term partner and sexual desire in one person.
Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode
In 'Sex at Dawn', Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá present a compelling argument that human beings evolved in egalitarian groups where food, child care, and sexual partners were shared. The authors use evidence from anthropology, archaeology, primatology, anatomy, and psychosexuality to debunk the standard narrative of human sexual evolution. They contend that before the advent of agriculture, human societies were characterized by sexual freedom and promiscuity, which strengthened social bonds and ensured the well-being of the group. The book challenges modern concepts of monogamy and sexual exclusivity, offering a fresh perspective on human sexuality and its implications for modern relationships.
The Value of Others
Orion Taraban
Very few men think of relationships in the frame of the “sexual marketplace,” although the rules and principles of attraction and connection can very much be understood as an economic model, of sorts, of perceived value. And, the man who offers the most perceived value, is the man who gets the girl. Whether you’re married or single, understanding the intricacies and nuance of what makes a man attractive to a woman will help him get more of what he wants from her.
My guest today, psychologist Orion Taraban joins me to discuss these dynamics between men and women so we all get more of what we’re after in relationships. We cover the importance of knowing your value and knowing what is valuable to the opposite sex, why love has little or nothing to do with attraction, what is known as the “Madonna-Whore Complex,” the concepts of Captains and Passengers as it relates to dating and mating, the difference between talking and communicating, and how best to make yourself more attractive.
SHOW HIGHLIGHTS 00:00 - Introduction to Captain and Passenger Roles 00:30 - Orion Taraban’s Background and Book Success 01:30 - The Role of YouTube in Building an Audience 03:24 - Orion’s Communication Style and Credentials 07:04 - The Captain and Passenger Metaphor 11:33 - Prerogatives of the Captain 12:23 - Liabilities of Female Captaincy 15:29 - Sexual Marketplace Dynamics 18:38 - Love and Relationships 20:15 - Male Sexuality and Objectification 26:16 - Attraction and the “Bad Boy” Myth 28:12 - The Two Women Concept 32:21 - Communication vs. Talking in Relationships 37:24 - Self-Knowledge and Attraction 41:14 - Double Standards in the Sexual Marketplace 47:20 - Body Count and Sexual Novelty 51:17 - The Coolidge Effect and Male Drive 56:13 - Monogamy and Historical Context 59:54 - Relationships as Economic Transactions 1:03:36 - Marriage as a Business Partnership 1:09:48 - What Women Want in Men 1:16:01 - Standing Out in the Sexual Marketplace 1:23:12 - Where to Connect with Orion
Order of Man 
