E47: A BDSM Couple Try Two Kinky Communication Exercises (With Sprinkles on Top book)
Oct 15, 2024
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Dive into the world of communication in kink versus vanilla relationships! Discover how couples can better express their desires with fun exercises from a captivating book. Enjoy candid discussions about navigating fantasies and boundaries, including threesomes. Explore the complexities of BDSM dynamics and the significance of effective communication within them. Plus, a light-hearted look at erotic vocabulary reveals how language shapes intimacy. This entertaining conversation is perfect for those wanting to deepen their connections!
58:41
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Quick takeaways
Effective communication is crucial for couples with differing sexual interests, facilitating understanding between kinky and vanilla partners.
Exercises from Stephanie Goerlich's book, 'With Sprinkles on Top,' serve as valuable tools for improving dialogue about desires and limitations.
The playful exploration of erotic vocabulary illustrates how language can impact intimacy and enhance personal expression in relationships.
Deep dives
Improving Communication in Kinky Relationships
The discussion revolves around the importance of effective communication for couples with differing sexual interests, especially between kinky and vanilla partners. Exercises from Stephanie Gorlick's book, 'With Sprinkles on Top,' are highlighted as valuable tools for enhancing dialogue about desires and limitations. The hosts plan to conduct exercises from the book to illustrate how such practices can lead to more fulfilling interactions. These exercises are designed to help partners better understand each other's needs, even when their preferences may not initially align.
Understanding Kink Dynamics
A key insight shared is how individuals in relationships can have vastly different sexual interests, which may require skillful navigation to maintain harmony. The hosts reflect on their own experiences and preferences, discussing the complexities of having kinks that may be seen as taboo or abnormal by their partners. They emphasize the importance of addressing feelings of guilt and shame that may arise when exploring one's fantasies in relation to a partner's comfort level. The conversation illustrates the significance of finding a middle ground to avoid conflict and promote acceptance.
Defining BDSM Elements
The episode discusses how BDSM components—bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism—can be understood in the context of relationship dynamics. Stephanie Gorlick's definitions segment BDSM into three elements: control, authority, and sensation, clarifying the subtle differences between them. The hosts appreciate this clearer framework, believing it enriches the understanding of how partners can explore their desires. By articulating these concepts, individuals can engage in healthier, more consensual experiences.
Utilizing Fantasy Worksheets
The Mad Lib exercise presented in the podcast functions as a creative tool for partners to articulate their fantasies while encouraging open communication. Filling out a worksheet can facilitate not only personal reflection but also provides a structured way to share desires without fear of judgment. The hosts appreciate how such worksheets can serve as conversation starters, guiding couples to explore their intimate lives. This activity demonstrates that communication doesn’t always have to be serious; it can also incorporate fun and creativity.
Navigating Erotic Vocabulary and Comfort Levels
The hosts engage in a playful exploration of erotic vocabulary, rating their comfort levels with various sexual terms. This light-hearted segment highlights that the language used around sex can significantly impact intimacy and personal expression. They reflect on how certain words carry different emotional weights and may affect the dialogue between partners. By recognizing and discussing these preferences, couples can tailor their language to foster a more inviting environment for sexual exploration.
Chief and Moineau discuss Stephanie Goerlich's book 'With Sprinkles on Top' and the importance of communication in bridging the gap between kinky and vanilla partners.
We compare mental fantasies with real-world practicality (including threesome and more-some discussions!), as well as negotiating and compromising in relationships.
We then try out two exercises from the book - a mad-lib style desire sharing exercise, and one to gauge our comfort levels with erotic language.
If you're a kinky person looking for ways to improve your relationship and get more comfortable sharing your desires with a partner then this podcast is for you!
Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction 00:58 Kinky Statistics 02:28 Introducing the Book: With Sprinkles on Top 04:39 Exploring Kink and Communication 06:50 Personal Kink Experiences and Fantasies 10:01 Discussing Threesomes and Boundaries 24:06 Fantasy Worksheet Exercise 33:42 Exploring Desires and Fantasies 34:19 Power Dynamics and Control 35:24 Communication and Connection 37:05 Erotic Vocabulary Exercise
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