Open to Debate How to Resolve Conflict in Relationships: A Conversation with Esther Perel
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Feb 9, 2024 
Psychotherapist and relationship expert Esther Perel discusses how conflict in relationships can lead to growth and a stronger bond. She shares strategies for transforming conflict into constructive dialogue, the importance of validating both perspectives, and explores the impact of technology on relationships.
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Conflict's Form Matters Most
- Conflict is not inherently negative but essential for healthy relationships and social systems.
- The form of conflict matters more than content, affecting couples, groups, and international relations alike.
Avoid Kitchen Sinking
- Avoid "kitchen sinking" by focusing on the specific issue instead of bringing up unrelated past grievances.
- Argue while protecting the relationship by thinking about impact, not just expression.
Curiosity Dissolves Demonization
- People in distressed relationships flatten the other, seeing them as one-dimensional.
- Curiosity dissolves rigid demonizations by exploring values and motives behind conflicts.