The Bravery of Letting Go: A Deep Dive into Self-Forgiveness and Healing (Episode #63)

The Bravery of Letting Go:

A Deep Dive into Self-Forgiveness and Healing

 
In this vulnerable and thought-provoking episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore one of the most challenging aspects of the healing journey: self-forgiveness. Whether you've acted in ways you're not proud of or internalized blame after betrayal, the burden of shame can keep you tethered to past pain. Together, they unpack why so many individuals—both betrayed partners and those who have acted out—struggle to forgive themselves, even long after change begins.

The conversation addresses the role of shame as a perceived protector, the internal dialogue that keeps us stuck, and how self-forgiveness isn’t just an emotional release, but a physiological and relational turning point. Drawing from Internal Family Systems (IFS), systems theory, trauma research, and recovery work, Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn examine how embracing self-forgiveness leads to renewed self-trust, authentic change, and deeper connection.

Listeners are also introduced to somatic and spiritual tools for letting go of self-judgment and are encouraged to explore their capacity to receive love—not just give it. The message is clear: your healing matters, and you are worthy of moving forward.

Resources Mentioned:

- Internal Family Systems (IFS) – A therapeutic model exploring parts of the self, especially protective parts tied to shame and fear.  
- Mark Wolynn – Author of It Didn’t Start with You, discussing inherited family trauma and emotional tethering across generations.  
- Dr. Joe Dispenza – Work referenced regarding emotional addiction and how familiar patterns of pain can become neurologically ingrained.  
- Dr. Kristin Neff – [selfcompassion.org](https://selfcompassion.org), a resource hub for meditations and exercises on self-compassion and self-forgiveness.  
- Dr. Carol Dweck – Growth vs. fixed mindset; how change is possible through effort and intentionality.  
- Dr. Kevin Skinner –Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal, discussing concepts such as the locus of control and how misplaced self-blame limits healing.  
- 12-Step Recovery Principles – Concepts of surrender, self-reflection, and spiritual healing in addiction recovery.  
- Somatic Exercises for Releasing Shame – Bilateral stimulation, body scans, and metaphor-based visualization to help the body release emotional burdens.  
- Visualization Practices – Inviting clients to connect with a Higher Power, or a loving internal figure like a grandparent, to find grace and compassion within.