How to Defuse From Unhelpful Thoughts

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Oct 20, 2025

Dr. Diana Hill explores how our thoughts shape our experiences, using a fun surfing trip with teens as a backdrop. She delves into cognitive inflexibility, outlining the three Cs: confirmation, coherence, and compliance. Learn to defuse unhelpful thoughts by breaking mental rules and shifting perspectives. Insightful strategies like the marshmallow mind and paradox thinking help enhance cognitive flexibility. With practical tips, this discussion encourages a healthier relationship with your mind to focus on what truly matters.

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ANECDOTE

Surf Trip Reveals Mind’s Distortions

Dr. Diana Hill recounts a surf trip with her 16-year-old son and three friends that revealed how minds can mislead us.
She observed that surf reports often lied and you must see waves yourself to know the real conditions.

INSIGHT

You Can’t Delete Thoughts — Only Learn New Ones

The mind is an unstoppable relating machine that constantly produces thoughts and associations.
You cannot delete learned associations; you can only learn new ones and strengthen different links.

ANECDOTE

Marshmallow Test Shows Two Tactics

Dr. Diana Hill describes doing the marshmallow experiment with her son and watching how kids cope with temptation.
Some kids avoid thinking about the treat while others use 'cool' descriptions to reduce its emotional charge.

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Are your thoughts holding you back from doing wise effort? In this episode of The Wise Effort Show, Dr. Diana Hill shares how our thoughts can both facilitate and hinder our efforts. Drawing from ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), contemplative science, and her insights from going on a surf trip with her 16-year-old son and three of his buddies, Dr. Hill provides practical strategies for working with your mind so you can run your life, not let your thoughts control it. Learn about the three Cs of cognitive inflexibility—confirmation, coherence, and compliance effects—and discover how shifting perspectives and breaking mental rules can lead to greater cognitive flexibility. This episode is full of insights to help you step back from your busy thoughts and focus on what truly matters.

In This Episode, We Explore:

Her Insights from a Surfing Trip
Cognitive Flexibility: The Three Cs
Breaking the Rules
Practical Tips for Cognitive Flexibility

Suggested Next Episode:

Episode 171: Openness Is The New Mindfulness With Jonathan Schooler

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Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.

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Join me in Costa Rica April 2026

So come to Costa Rica, go to drdianahill.com/costa-rica to learn more. I'd love to meet you. I'd love to spend a week of transformation with you and give yourself the gift this spring of renewal.

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