Building Real-World Charisma

• Olivia Fox Cabane explains how there are four charisma types according to the proportion of power, presence and warmth. The focused charismatic (who pays deep attention to others), the visionary charismatic (who communicates their infectious passion), the kind charismatic (who inspires with warmth and compassion) and the authoritative charismatic (who leads others with expertise and power).

• Depending on your goals, you can play up your natural charisma strengths or seek to balance out your weaknesses.

• To be socially and emotionally comfortable, plan ahead and make sure you’re physically comfortable, which will remove barriers to charismatic connection.

• Use ritual and visualization as a “social warm up.” Music, meditation, and affirmations can help you prepare.

• Build presence with mindfulness. Slow down, breathe and anchor in the senses. Pause before you respond, and take conscious care of every detail of the interaction, including your verbal and nonverbal expression, appearance, and behavior.

• Howard Friedman emphasized the affective, nonverbal expressiveness component of charisma.

• Communicate with all your body and laugh openly. Speak with a dynamic, varied voice that changes in pitch, tone and expression. Use touch to bridge distance and create warmth, aware that the rules differ for men and women.

• Speak less and emote more via facial expression. If you find yourself the center of attention, relax and don’t draw attention to awkwardness, using humor to defuse tension. Use exaggerated, pantomime-like gestures and initiate contact with strangers. Finally, practice the art of “platonic flirting.”

• Introverts can be charismatic, but they must do so on their own terms.

Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

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