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Relationship expert Matt Monday shares insights on moving on from a breakup or getting back with an ex. He discusses the roots of breakup obsession in early dating, the #1 thing defining reality after a breakup, and 3 steps to consider when deciding to reconcile. He offers advice on creating natural conversations and maintaining self-worth post-breakup.
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Quick takeaways
- Obsessive rumination post-breakup stems from envisioning a future with the person, creating feelings of loss and despair.
- Diversifying sources of significance beyond a relationship strengthens resilience and mitigates the impact of its loss.
Deep dives
Recovery from Breakup
After a breakup, the pain and obsession felt are akin to the heightened emotions experienced in the initial stages of dating when infatuated with someone. This obsessive rumination stems from envisioning a future with the person, leading to feelings of loss and despair. The intense focus on the breakup as the sole source of pain eclipses other aspects of life, creating a distorted reality. To move forward, individuals must re-establish connections with diverse facets of their existence beyond the relationship.
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Listen to the best highlights from the podcasts you love and dive into the full episode