Can You Trust Your Child's Social Instincts? Or is She a Bully?
Apr 23, 2018
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The podcast discusses a parent's concern about their 3-year-old rejecting friendly overtures, exploring the balance between trusting a child's social instincts and teaching kindness. It touches on navigating social situations, boundaries, and children's social skills development through trust and reflection.
11:25
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Quick takeaways
Encourage discernment in children's social interactions to cultivate genuine relationships, not mere reciprocity.
Trust children's instincts and choices while modeling patience and empathy for fostering confident and empathetic behavior.
Deep dives
Navigating Social Situations: Trusting Children's Instincts vs. Teaching Inclusivity
In a ballet class scenario, a parent seeks advice on her daughter's choice to not engage with a peer. The parent is torn between trusting her daughter's instincts and teaching her to be friendly and inclusive. The podcast points out the importance of considering the big picture in children's social interactions, emphasizing the value of teaching discernment and forming relationships based on genuine connections rather than obligatory reciprocity.
Social Learning: Trusting Children's Process in Relationship Building
The podcast highlights the ongoing social learning process children undergo, focusing on interpreting signals from others and developing positive relationships. It stresses the significance of supporting children to be discerning in their interactions, fostering confidence in their instincts and choices. By allowing age-appropriate experiences such as rejection and acceptance, children can navigate social dynamics and build secure foundations for healthy relationships.
Parental Trust and Modeling: Building Confidence in Children's Social Skills
Emphasizing trust as a key element in fostering confident and empathetic children, the podcast underscores the role of parental modeling in cultivating patience and empathy. Trusting children to manage their social skills helps them cultivate kindness, compassion, and empathy naturally. By providing security and encouragement, parents contribute to their children's positive social behaviors and overall well-being.
A parent who describes her 3-year-old as “bright and spirited… a sweet girl” has noticed lately in certain social situations that her daughter will flatly reject friendly overtures from peers. This makes the parent very uncomfortable, but she isn’t sure how or if to intervene. She writes, “I am so torn between accepting and trusting her and wanting to teach her to be nice to others.”
For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible.
Also available for download, her audio series "Sessions" -- recorded consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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