Modern Wisdom #1016 - Rob Henderson - Is Having a Boyfriend Cringe Now?
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Nov 6, 2025 
Rob Henderson, a psychologist with a PhD from Cambridge and Senior Fellow at the Manhattan Institute, explores why having a boyfriend is considered 'cringe' today. He connects this shift to modern cultural dynamics, including how elite messaging creates pressures that suppress relationships. They discuss the role of social media in distorting real-life connections and the impact of female intersexual competition on dating. Henderson highlights how societal standards can influence young men's behavior and the rising importance of appearance in the dating landscape.
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Humble Cambridge Recording Hovel
- Rob recorded from tiny Cambridge rooms early in his career and calls it a 'hovel' he later left behind.
- He uses that memory to stay grounded despite later success and visibility.
Elite Messaging Can Suppress Reproduction
- Elite women publicly discourage relationships while privately participating in them, which affects others' behaviour.
- Rob Henderson calls this a 'luxury belief' that confers status to the affluent while harming less fortunate women.
Marriage And Kids Correlate With Higher Happiness
- Married people with children report the highest happiness in multiple studies, while single childless women report the lowest.
- Promoting anti-family ideas can therefore reduce pathways to happiness for many women.
