Episode 255: For Our Daughters—Plus Why Sex Abuse Scandals Keep Happening
Oct 17, 2024
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Kristen Kobes Du Mez, an author and filmmaker known for her insights on gender and power in evangelical Christianity, discusses her documentary 'For Our Daughters.' She and Pastor Trey Ferguson, a theologian challenging traditional views on sex, explore how underlying beliefs in the church enable abuse. They address the objectification of women, emphasize the need for accountability, and critique the harmful narratives surrounding sexuality. Their conversation highlights the importance of healing and fostering safer religious communities.
The podcast emphasizes the urgent need to address harmful beliefs about gender and power within evangelicalism to combat systemic abuse.
Kristin Kobes Du Mez's documentary 'For Our Daughters' highlights survivor stories that expose the complicity of church structures in enabling abuse.
Discussions on sexuality must promote mutual enjoyment and consent, challenging detrimental views that portray women as passive in intimate relationships.
Deep dives
The Call for Mutuality in Marriage
Healthy marriages should embody the principles of mutuality and partnership, moving beyond traditional power dynamics prevalent in evangelical teachings. The conversation highlights a movement away from hierarchical models toward a relationship where both partners thrive and are equally valued. Emphasizing mutual respect counters long-standing cultural narratives that elevate male authority, creating environments conducive to communal growth and emotional well-being. This shift aims to empower individuals to seek healthy dynamics that reflect the intentions of the teachings of Jesus.
The Impact of the 'For Our Daughters' Documentary
The documentary 'For Our Daughters' serves as a powerful platform for survivors of sexual abuse in evangelical churches, allowing them to share their personal stories and the systemic failures that have enabled such abuses. By framing these narratives within the context of Christian nationalism, the film exposes the ideologies that perpetuate power imbalances and contribute to the cover-up of abuse. The film emphasizes the need for accountability and offers insight into the complicity of those within church structures. It aims to raise awareness among not only church communities but all Americans about the dangers of patriarchal authority.
Reframing Sex and Gender Dynamics
Discussions surrounding sexuality often portray women as passive recipients of male desire rather than as empowered partners in mutual enjoyment. This transactional view has implications not only for personal relationships but also for broader cultural understandings of intimacy and power dynamics. Embracing a more equitable and consensual framework for discussing sex can foster healthier relationships, breaking down harmful stereotypes that depict women as temptations or obstacles. This reframing allows for the cultivation of genuine intimacy, challenging the patriarchal norms that have traditionally defined sexual relationships.
Addressing Complicity in Abuse
Many within evangelical communities have a tendency to side with perpetrators of abuse rather than victims, reflecting a systemic issue of complicity and denial. This complicity often stems from an ingrained belief in the sanctity of church authority, which leads individuals to overlook moral failings in leaders. The documentary and associated conversations stress the importance of holding church leaders accountable and prioritizing the voices of victims. Recognizing and confronting this pattern is crucial for fostering an environment where justice can prevail over complicity.
The Challenge of Healthy Sexual Ethics
A significant challenge facing many evangelical communities is the lack of a healthy and relational framework for discussing sex and intimacy. Many traditional teachings focus on fear and control rather than the understanding of consensual and mutual enjoyment. This creates an environment where leaders may struggle with personal conduct, as the church often prioritizes maintaining a façade of piety over addressing underlying ethical issues. Emphasizing a more open and honest discussion about sexuality is essential for transforming these relationships and fostering genuine intimacy within the community.
We aren’t going to fix the abuse crisis in the church until we deal with the underlying beliefs that actually enable abuse. Today Kristin Kobes Du Mez joins us to talk about her new documentary For Our Daughters, which shows how beliefs about gender, power and politics that are rampant in the church actually contribute to abuse. And Pastor Trey Ferguson joins us to comment on a recent article he wrote explaining how evangelicalism’s views of sex, which ignore intimacy, contribute to abuse too.
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