Narcissistic Co-Parents, Borderline Spouses, and Intimidating Behaviors
Mar 30, 2023
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The hosts discuss mediating high conflict cases and offer training programs. They talk about dealing with a high conflict custody case and concerns for the child. They cover co-parenting with challenging behaviors and teaching life skills. The concept of co-parenting and addressing a high conflict family member is discussed. They also talk about managing high conflict people and finding a counselor for oneself.
Mediators can struggle to resolve cases involving high conflict individuals, but specialized training can improve settlement rates.
To help a child navigate a high conflict custody battle, focus on co-parenting and teach important life skills while seeking support from therapists and resources.
Deep dives
Importance of Understanding High Conflict Personalities in Mediation
In this podcast episode, the hosts discuss the challenges mediators may face when dealing with high conflict personalities in mediations. They emphasize that even skilled mediators can struggle to resolve cases involving high conflict individuals. However, they provide hope by offering specialized training for mediators to learn the necessary skills for handling these challenging cases. By using a new model for mediation developed by Bill Eddy, settlement rates increased from 75% to over 90% in high conflict cases. The training combines on-demand modules with Zoom sessions directly with Bill Eddy.
How to Help a Toddler in a High Conflict Custody Battle
A listener seeks advice on how to help their toddler navigate a high conflict custody battle involving a co-parent with narcissistic traits. The listener describes concerning behaviors, such as manipulation, false information, and emotional harm directed at the child. They express feeling helpless and worried about the child's well-being. The hosts suggest focusing on the co-parenting and teaching the child important life skills, such as managing emotions, flexible thinking, appropriate behavior, and self-reflection. They also encourage seeking help from local therapists, legal professionals, and resources like Dr. Benjamin Garber's book, The Healthy Parents ABCs, for guidance and support.
Dealing with Intimidation and Conflicts in a Family Business Relationship
In this segment, a listener seeks advice on managing conflicts and intimidating behavior within a family business relationship. They express difficulties in communicating with a family member who exhibits strong adversarial and blaming tendencies. The hosts recommend using the CARS method (connecting, analyzing options, responding to misinformation, and setting limits) when dealing with the high conflict individual. They emphasize the importance of focusing on one's own behavior and choices, redirecting the attention from arguments to solution-oriented discussions. Additionally, they suggest seeking support from family systems therapy, neutral parties, and professional counselors who can provide guidance and perspective.
In this episode Megan and Bill answer listener questions:
“I'm going through a high conflict custody case with someone who it would appear has some form of Narcissistic High Conflict Personality. I was wondering if you could point me in a useful direction regarding how to help my toddler through this really terrible custody battle and beyond.”
“I really struggle to know how to handle situations where a decision needs to be made quickly and we [the HCP and I] have opposite approaches in mind. For instance, a decision about whether to hold someone else to account (who I don’t believe really did anything wrong). I’d love wisdom on how to manage intimidating behavior (when they are intimidating you into following their instructions). Would you ever recommend quietly explaining the problem to someone else who is caught up in the situation?”
“Can someone develop Borderline Personality Disorder traits from living with someone with BPD (or BPD traits)? And how do I find a good counselor for myself that can help me recover from living with her?”