Every Child, Even a Tiny Baby, Deserves Time On Their Own (with Hari Grebler)
Jan 16, 2024
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Janet Lansbury is joined by Hari Grebler, a Magda Gerber protégé, to discuss the importance of giving babies and children time to themselves. They emphasize creating safe and nurturing play spaces, nurturing solitude and empathy, and the negative effects of overstimulation and lack of independent play. They also provide tips for creating a safe and inviting space for babies and explore the concept of play and boredom in parenting.
Creating a safe and nurturing play space for babies and toddlers is essential for their development.
Nurturing a child's capacity for solitude and self-play is crucial for their development.
Deep dives
Creating Safe and Nurturing Play Spaces for Babies and Toddlers
Creating a safe and nurturing play space for babies and toddlers is essential for their development. Parents should start by setting up a cozy bassinet or crib where the baby can play and explore safely. As the baby grows and becomes more interested in the world, they can move to the floor where a designated play space is created. This space should provide ample room for the baby to move and explore, inspiring their imagination and discovery. Setting boundaries, such as gating off the kitchen, can also help create a safe and focused environment for independent play. By encouraging independent play in a secure space, babies learn to trust themselves, develop an inner life, and become more self-reliant.
Embracing the Importance of Solitude and Self-Play
Nurturing a child's capacity for solitude and self-play is crucial for their development. Allowing babies and toddlers to spend time alone in their play spaces, even from a young age, helps them develop a sense of self and independence. Providing opportunities for babies to entertain themselves without constant adult interaction fosters their imagination, discovery, and self-awareness. Encouraging healthy solitude also plays a significant role in cultivating empathy and the ability to connect with others. Parents can create a supportive environment by being fully present during caregiving moments and attuning to their child's signals and interests. This practice of being with the child in their play space and observing without interrupting nurtures their capacity for self-entertainment and self-discovery.
Creating a Rhythm and Routine for Play and Sleep
Establishing a rhythm and routine is essential for supporting a child's play and sleep patterns. Providing predictability and consistency helps babies feel secure and allows them to trust their environment. For sleep, a consistent caregiving routine, such as changing diapers and preparing for bed, followed by quiet time in their play space, signals to the baby that sleep is approaching. Similarly, creating a play routine, where the baby is engaged in independent play within their designated space, fosters a sense of security and joy. By sticking to these routines, parents contribute to their child's overall well-being, confidence, and development.
Collaborating with the Child and Adapting to Their Needs
In supporting a child's play and growth, it is crucial for parents to collaborate and adapt to the child's changing needs. This entails being attentive to cues and signals, such as tiredness or boredom, and responding accordingly. Collaborating with the child, even from a young age, involves being open and flexible, allowing them to express their preferences and interests. When introducing changes, such as transitioning from one play space to another or altering routines, it is important to communicate openly with the child, acknowledging any challenges or frustrations they may experience. By collaborating and adapting, parents create a nurturing and supportive environment that encourages a child's exploration, independence, and overall well-being.
Do all human beings, even our babies, need time to themselves—freedom to make choices, initiate activities, think their own thoughts? In this episode, Janet and her special guest Hari Grebler say "yes" and explain why. Hari, a Magda Gerber protégé, was Janet's first parenting teacher. Thirty years later, Hari continues to introduce parents in her parent-infant classes to a new perspective—inspiring them to trust and become more attuned to their babies and to develop safe play spaces for them to freely explore at home. Hari and Janet discuss how this works and why it matters—not only for our children's healthy development (and even their sleep!) but for our mental health. Hari also addresses some of the common misunderstandings that can get in our way.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
Her best-selling books No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame and Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play.
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