The Futur with Chris Do Why Friendships Change: Values, Growth, and Distance w/ Jule Kim | Ep 405
Dec 13, 2025
Jule Kim, an executive coach and podcaster focused on personal growth and relationships, joins Chris Do to discuss the evolving nature of friendships. They explore the four tiers of friendship, emphasizing how values shape connections. Jule shares insights on her struggles with people-pleasing and setting boundaries, while Chris highlights the importance of observing behavior to assess true character. Together, they unpack the complexities of friendship, including the emotional costs of social hierarchies and the value of mutual reciprocity.
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Tiered Friendship Framework
- Chris Do divides friendships into four tiers and moves people between them based on observed behavior over time.
- He offers friendship freely to reveal true character and collect data points before deciding closeness.
Use Generosity To Gauge Character
- Give friendship freely as a test to see reciprocity and values in action.
- Withdraw friendship quickly when repeated behavior shows misaligned values or ulterior motives.
Chasing Coolness Backfires
- Chris chased social status in junior high by befriending a popular kid who treated him poorly.
- His dad recognized the kid's character and Chris quickly ended that pursuit of approval.