“The path to success may not always be easy, but with determination and courage, you can achieve your dreams.” So writes Melania Trump (or ChatGPT?) on page 34 of the memoir released yesterday by the former first lady. And we have questions! Such as, did any of the Big Five publishers bid on the book? Who wrote Melania’s memoir and has she seen it? Is Donald Trump, as portrayed here, actually made out of wood?

Also discussed:

* Every Ta-Nahesi Coates interview doesn’t need to be a tongue bath

* Nancy’s turning point with Palestinian protestors

* Will Melania’s pro-choice position sway undecided voters?

* But really: No way is Donald Trump pro-life

* Why did Skyhorse, which published Melania, demand $250,000 when CNN asked for an interview?

* “Who gives a fuck about Chrismas decoration?”: Melania caught on hot mic

* The explanation of that weird “I don’t care, do you?” fashion moment

* Point-counterpoint: Was Melania truly out of the loop on January 6?

* Melania’s plastic surgery

* The case for the middle ground on abortion

* How to get “maximum spillage and bobble”

Plus, the viral performance artist imitating trash bags, the disturbing face-eating disease Nancy brings up at the last moment (why?!), some love for FIRE, and more!