10% Happier with Dan Harris

How to Speak Clearly, Calmly, and Without Alienating People | Dan Clurman and Mudita Nisker

Aug 29, 2022

Mudita Nisker, a licensed therapist and communication coach, and Dan Clurman, a communication professor, share insights from their book, "Let's Talk." They discuss the importance of effective communication in personal relationships and the pitfalls of misunderstanding. Emphasizing mindfulness and reflective listening, they explore concepts like 'right speech' from Buddhism. Techniques for clarity, such as using 'I language' and fostering positive intentions in challenging conversations, are highlighted as keys to enhancing interpersonal connections.

01:02:44

Creator website

Episode guests

Dan Clurman

Mudita Nisker

AI Summary

Highlights

AI Chapters

Episode notes

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

Reflective listening is a powerful tool to improve communication and create a safe space for understanding.

Stating positive intentions in conversations sets a positive tone and guides the direction of dialogue.

Framing the conversation and talking in digestible portions enhances listener engagement and prevents communication obstacles.

Deep dives

The Importance of Effective Communication

Effective communication is crucial for success and well-being, but few people are taught how to do it. Many problems in life stem from poor communication or failure to listen to others.

The Difference Between Flooding and Chunking in Communication

03:30

Using Triggering, Non Provisional Language

01:29

Using Mindfulness and Self-Awareness in Conversation

01:30

Do You Have To Be A Meditator To Apply These Kills?

01:41

Intro

4min

The Importance of Mindful Communication in Relationships

4min

Mastering Communication for Better Connections

11min

Mastering Mindful Communication

19min

Navigating Communication with Clarity and Critical Thinking

4min

Navigating Communication Through Language

12min

Enhancing Communication: Techniques for Clarity and Connection

2min

Crafting Constructive Conversations

9min

Enhancing Communication Skills for a Compassionate World

4min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

---

Most of us talk all day long. We speak to each other, we type at each other, and of course, we talk to ourselves internally. Talking and listening is a key part of what it means to be human and It’s very hard to be a successful person if you can’t communicate your ideas and listen to and understand other people.

Today’s guests, Mudita Nisker and Dan Clurman, are here to explain some very simple and easy to understand communication skills that can transform your life. Their new book, Let's Talk: An Essential Guide to Skillful Communication concisely summarizes their teachings and they’re coming on the show today to walk us through some of the key learnings from this book.

Over the past thirty years Nisker and Clurman have provided communication training to individuals and organizations in the private, public, government, and nonprofit sectors. They have also led workshops, and trained staff at leading mindfulness centers such as Insight Meditation Society and Spirit Rock Meditation Center. Clurman is a communication coach and professor in the Ageno School of Business at Golden Gate University in San Francisco. Nisker is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice.

In this episode we talk about:

Talking vs. listening
Content vs. process
The power of saying nothing at all
Reflective listening
The Buddhist concept of Right Speech
Content goals vs. relationship goals
“I” language
Provisional language
Stating positive intentions
Framing
And Flooding vs. chunking

You can read an excerpt of the book, Let's Talk: An Essential Guide to Skillful Communication if you subscribe to our TPH newsletter, which comes out every Sunday. And you can subscribe if you go to: tenpercent.com/newsletter.

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dan-clurman-and-mudita-nisker-494

Remember Everything You Learn from Podcasts

Save insights instantly, chat with episodes, and build lasting knowledge - all powered by AI.

10% Happier with Dan Harris

How to Speak Clearly, Calmly, and Without Alienating People | Dan Clurman and Mudita Nisker

Episode guests

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

Deep dives

The Importance of Effective Communication

Transformative Communication Skills

Key Concepts in Skillful Communication

Importance of Reflective Listening and Its Impact on Communication

The Value of Positive Intention, Framing, and Chunking in Communication

The Difference Between Flooding and Chunking in Communication

Using Triggering, Non Provisional Language

Using Mindfulness and Self-Awareness in Conversation

Do You Have To Be A Meditator To Apply These Kills?

Remember Everything You Learn from Podcasts