I’m so excited to share this conversation with Oscar Trimboli, author of Deep Listening, a lovely book/card deck.
We talk about the costs of not listening, the opportunities that are created when we listen and why hearing what's unsaid can transform your work and life.
In our western conception, we have speaking and listening, a basic duality.
Oscar describes our normal conception of listening as monochrome, two dimensional listening rather than multi-color, multi-sensory listening.
Oscar has worked to absorb traditional approaches to listening from Inuit cultures in North America, to Australian Aboriginal cultures, as well Polynesian and Maori cultures.
Oscar breaks down a 6-dimensional listening model that leverages a deeper understanding of the Chinese word for listening, Ting as well as an Aborginal concept for listening, Dadirri, which approaches listening from 3 dimensions - Self, Peoples and Lands.
125/900 and The Cost of Not Listening
Oscar introduces us to the 125/900 rule - the simple fact that we can speak at 125 words a minute yet we can think at 900 words a minute.
The basic math of conversation is that there will always be something unsaid.
The Impact of this fact is impossible to calculate. In our daily work this can mean a misunderstanding, an argument, lost work or a delay.
But Oscar points to two shocking examples:
+we lost three critical weeks in the fight against the Coronavirus because the Chinese authorities weren't willing to listen to a doctor. On December 30, 2019 Dr. Li, an ophthalmologist in a Wuhan hospital, alerted six of his friends on WeChat saying, "There's a SARS-like virus that has a huge impact on the mortality of aged patients.” Li was later asked to recant his statements and also later passed away from the disease.
+August 27th, 2005, Dr. Raghuram Rajan, then head of the International Monetary Fund, spoke at the Federal Reserve annual Jackson Hole conference in 2005. Rajan warned about the growing risks in the financial system and proposed policies that would reduce such risks. Former U.S. Treasury Secretary Lawrence Summers called the warnings "misguided" and Rajan himself a "luddite".
How to Listen to people you disagree with
One final idea I want to highlight is how Oscar suggests to go about listening to those people we fiercely disagree with.
He suggests, rather than work to convince them, simply ask”
"when was the first time you formed that opinion?"
The immediate impact is that it gets us out of talking points and into the starting point. It’s a more human story. It’s the beginning of empathy and of understanding the data that they are working with.
Links, Notes and ResourcesStart here with Oscar’s Listening Quiz
More about Oscar on the web: www.listeningmyths.com