The Cult of Weddings (Update)

Nov 25, 2025

Allison Raskin, a writer, podcaster, and relationship coach, dives deep into the complexities of wedding culture. She highlights how weddings have morphed into consumerist spectacles laden with patriarchal traditions. From discussing the pressure to achieve a 'perfect' day to the significance of personalizing celebrations, Allison emphasizes the evolving nature of marriage. She advocates for honest pre-marriage conversations, debunks the 'bridezilla' myth, and reassures couples that marriage can be flexible, making it a partnership driven by genuine connection.

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insights

INSIGHT

Cognitive Dissonance Around Weddings

Weddings combine festivity with coercive conformity driven by consumerism and patriarchy.
Amanda says she felt resentment for wedding rituals even while loving romance and pageantry.

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INSIGHT

Weddings As A Class Barrier

The wedding industry has ballooned into a massive market that enforces class gates.
Allison cites data showing average U.S. weddings cost upwards of $35,000 and a $420B global market projection.

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INSIGHT

Tradition Masks Gender And Class Inequality

Traditions get repurposed to justify gendered wedding labor and whitened representations.
Academic work shows 'tradition' shifts to maintain inequalities under a veneer of custom.

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Why wedding culture feels cultlike

02:59 • 2min

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Episode crossover: Magical Overthinkers origin

04:46 • 3min

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Guest intro: Allison Raskin

08:00 • 9min

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Allison's path to writing about marriage

17:11 • 2min

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Overthinking and career anxieties

19:30 • 1min

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Amanda's conflicted feelings about weddings

21:00 • 1min

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How weddings evolved historically

Patriarchy in wedding traditions

26:10 • 2min

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Separating wedding from marriage

27:48 • 2min

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Rethinking modern marriage possibilities

29:49 • 2min

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Divorce as a realistic possibility

31:40 • 2min

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Making weddings personal and playful

Wedding details that reflect the couple

42:05 • 3min

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What scares you about marriage?

44:59 • 44sec

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Pre-marriage conversations to have

45:43 • 52sec

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Listener questions: family invitations

46:35 • 1min

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Handling pressured family invites

47:50 • 1min

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Bridesmaid etiquette and friendship

48:50 • 1min

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Boundary setting vs. 'bridezilla' label

50:18 • 3min

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Academic critique of 'bridezilla'

53:42 • 2min

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Wanting a dress versus a full wedding

55:40 • 38sec

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Planning with OCD or anxiety

56:19 • 1min

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Worry about wedding costs

57:48 • 2min

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Why vendors charge more for weddings

59:20 • 46sec

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Underthinking and overthinking wedding priorities

01:00:06 • 1min

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Where to find Allison's work

01:01:08 • 48sec

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Evidence-based tip to stop overthinking

01:01:55 • 2min

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Final judgment: weddings as 'watch your back'

• Mentioned in 2 episodes

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Conversations About Modern Marriage

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In 'I Do (I Think): Conversations About Modern Marriage,' Allison Raskin delves into the complexities of modern relationships and marriage. With her characteristic wit and compassion, Raskin draws on new research to provide a nuanced exploration of what marriage means today. The book is a thought-provoking guide that helps readers navigate the evolving landscape of romantic partnerships and challenges traditional cultural assumptions.

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In 'Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism,' Amanda Montell argues that the key to manufacturing intense ideology, community, and us/them attitudes in cults and cult-like groups lies in the use of language. The book delves into the verbal elements that make these communities 'cultish,' including the redefinition of words, euphemisms, and other linguistic tricks. Montell analyzes various groups such as Jonestown, Scientology, NXIVM, and even modern entities like SoulCycle and social media influencers, highlighting how these groups use language to create a sense of belonging and loyalty. The book is praised for its engaging narrative, original research, and incisive analysis of the power of language in shaping human behavior.

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This week, Sounds Like A Cult is revisiting one of the most ritualistic, emotionally charged, and absurdly expensive cults of them all: The Cult of Weddings. We’re sharing (and offering a culty update) to Amanda’s Magical Overthinkers conversation with writer Allison Raskin, (@allisonraskin) author of I Do (I Think), about how weddings have transformed into a cult of consumerism, misogyny (comparing women with opinions to oversized mythical lizards???), and the illusion of perfection. From industrial-sized bridal expectations to the patriarchal rituals, we're sparing no criticism of how an alleged celebration of partnership became a capitalistic rite of passage.

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