Sex and Psychology Podcast Episode 546: When Polyamory Becomes Toxic
Oct 20, 2026
Eve Rickert, author, publisher, and non-monogamy specialist, explores how polyamorous relationships can become unhealthy or abusive. She discusses coercive control versus toxic behavior, recognizing manipulation in polycules, triangulation and smear campaigns, community enabling, and why multiple partners can complicate abuse detection. She also highlights changing perspectives on jealousy, mental health, disability, and finding specialized support.
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Why The New More Than Two Is A New Work
- Eve Rickert’s new book is a philosophical reimagining, not merely an updated edition.
- Her thinking shifted from individualist autonomy toward responsibility, relational ethics, and lessons from abuse, gender, cults, colonization, and capitalism.
Toxic Behavior Versus Coercive Control
- Toxic behavior can be situational and changeable, while coercive control creates sustained dominance that compromises consent and makes leaving costly.
- Coercive control rarely changes within a relationship, and therapy can sometimes give abusers more effective tools.
How Polycules Can Hide Abuse
- Abuse in polycules often resembles abuse elsewhere, including private mistreatment, smear campaigns, triangulation, and isolation.
- Unstable favoritism can keep partners competing for status while making the central person appear calm and everyone else seem unstable.
