Breaking Down Tasks and Big Feelings with Vanessa Gorelkin

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Mar 17, 2025

This week, Vanessa Gorelkin, a seasoned occupational therapist and ADHD coach with nearly 30 years of experience, offers invaluable insights into managing ADHD. She discusses why tasks can feel overwhelming and how anxiety and executive dysfunction complicate daily life. Vanessa emphasizes the significance of breaking tasks into micro-steps for momentum. She also explores emotional regulation techniques like box breathing and the importance of crisis planning, which can greatly enhance coping strategies for those navigating ADHD.

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ADVICE

Seeking Occupational Therapy Support

If struggling with ADHD, seek support from an occupational therapist.
They can help with executive function, emotional regulation, and anxiety management.

INSIGHT

Understanding Occupational Therapy

Occupational therapy helps people adapt to their circumstances and live their lives to the fullest.
It addresses challenges from neonatal care to hospice, focusing on habilitation and rehabilitation.

ADVICE

Harmful Language and Task Breakdown

Avoid using "just" and "should" when talking to someone with ADHD, as it's unhelpful and invalidating.
Instead, break down tasks into smaller steps and address underlying issues causing difficulties.

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Hey Team!

This week I’m talking with Vanessa Gorelkin, a seasoned occupational therapist and ADHD coach who’s been working in the field for nearly 30 years. She holds a Bachelor of Arts degree from Brandeis (Bran-Dice) University and a Master's degree in Occupational Therapy from New York University. She specializes in executive function strategies, emotional regulation, and anxiety management, and she brings a unique perspective to helping adults with ADHD navigate the day-to-day.

In this episode, we talk about why people with ADHD struggle with even the things they want to do, how anxiety and executive dysfunction team up to make life extra frustrating, and why strategies that work for a while inevitably stop working. We also dig into emotional regulation, how to break down tasks so they actually feel doable, and why giving yourself a crisis plan before you need it can make a huge difference.

If you'd life to follow along on the show notes page you can find that at HackingYourADHD.com/215

This Episode's Top Tips

1. If something feels overwhelming, try breaking it down into micro-steps. Even something like getting out of bed can be broken into “sit up,” “put feet on the floor,” and “stand up.” In more practical ways, we could think of this as starting out as just opening the document you need to work on, adding the formatting, and starting your first sentence. The idea is you want to build momentum and go with the flow.

2. Be mindful of language; words like "just" and "should" can be damaging. Instead of “I should just wash the dishes,” you can reframe it as “I could wash the dishes,” and then also if you need a little bit more asking yourself, “What’s making this difficult, and how can I work with it?”

3. It’s important to have a crisis plan ready before you need it. When emotional overwhelm hits, it’s hard to think through what you need. You can pre-plan strategies like a weighted blanket, a favorite show, or calling a friend so you don’t have to figure it out at the moment.