Wendy Liu, a seasoned forensic and grief counsellor, shares her profound insights on navigating loss and trauma. She discusses the significance of open conversations about death and the unique challenges faced in forensic counseling. Wendy reflects on her early experiences with autopsies and highlights the intricate nature of grief that extends beyond sadness. She also addresses the struggles of families dealing with ambiguous loss and emphasizes the importance of movement and connection in overcoming personal fears and finding healing.
Wendy Liu emphasizes the importance of open conversations about death to foster support for grieving individuals and families.
Grief is a multifaceted experience encompassing various emotions, encouraging individuals to recognize and embrace their complex feelings during loss.
Deep dives
Wendy Liu's Journey into Grief Support
Wendy Liu has dedicated her career to grief and trauma counseling, stemming from her early experiences as a social worker in palliative care. She discovered a natural affinity for supporting individuals at the end of their lives, which later expanded into forensic counseling for families impacted by traumatic losses such as suicides and accidents. Her personal encounters with loss have shaped her empathetic approach, allowing her to connect deeply with clients and guide them through their grief. Wendy emphasizes that many who enter this field often do so after their own significant experiences of loss, positioning them to help others effectively.
The Emotional Complexity of Grief
Grief is not solely characterized by sadness; it encompasses a wide range of emotions, including guilt, anger, and even connection to the deceased. Wendy notes that individuals often face complex feelings, such as the fear of moving on or the mistaken belief that they should not experience joy after loss. For many, encountering grief for the first time can lead to confusion about the emotions they experience and societal expectations of how to grieve. Wendy clarifies that grief can be physical, emotional, cognitive, and spiritual, and she encourages clients to recognize the multifaceted nature of their feelings.
Supporting Grief: The Importance of Presence
When supporting individuals in grief, it’s crucial to provide a compassionate and present approach rather than offering quick fixes or advice. Wendy explains that many people instinctively want to avoid painful conversations, which can leave the grieving person feeling isolated. By acknowledging their pain and allowing space for open dialogue, friends and family can foster a supportive environment. Wendy emphasizes that checking in regularly and asking permission to discuss the deceased can help maintain a connection that validates the grieving person's experience.
Navigating Ambiguous Loss and Healing
Wendy discusses the unique challenges of ambiguous loss, such as when a person goes missing or is not found, leading to unresolved grief. Families facing ambiguity often lack closure, which can exacerbate their emotional turmoil and create a profound sense of longing. Wendy highlights the importance of creating safe spaces for families to express their feelings and share their uncertainties about the loss. In her experience, witnessing individuals find ways to incorporate their grief into their lives—accepting the dual existence of love and loss—is a testament to human resilience and the complex journey of healing.
As a forensic counsellor and then a grief counsellor, Wendy Liu has spent many years right up close to death. Her work with people who are processing all kinds of losses has brought her a much keener appreciation for life. (R)
Wendy Liu was a young woman on a social work placement when she realised she had a special affinity for hard conversations about life and death.
She put her aptitude to work in palliative care, and then some years later she began working as a forensic counsellor.
For seven years Wendy worked supporting families following unexplained deaths, fatal accidents, child deaths, suicides and homicides reported to the Coroner.
Today Wendy is a grief counsellor and a passionate advocate for us all to have more open and honest conversations about death and dying.
She also says being so close to loss and grief each day has given her a stronger appreciation of life.
This episode of Conversations explores terminal illness, murder, crime, survivors, how to grieve, healthy grieving, counselling, funerals, wakes, tough conversations, family dynamics, organising funerals, forensics, police.
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