Relationship expert Ashley Kirsner shares tools for better conversations: vulnerability, open-ended questions, expressing impact, and mindfulness. Learn to deepen connections with gratitude practices and positive reinforcement in relationships.
Practice vulnerability for deeper connections by sharing personal struggles.
Ask open-ended questions and practice mindfulness to enhance meaningful conversations with others.
Deep dives
The Origin of Skip the Small Talk Events
Skip the Small Talk was founded by Ashley Kirsner to address the loneliness epidemic through in-person events based on social and clinical psychology research. The initiative began when Ashley noticed people's reluctance to share personal struggles with loved ones despite being open with strangers at a suicide hotline. This discrepancy led her to create events encouraging vulnerability and meaningful conversations, resulting in a successful ongoing series for seven years.
Challenges Associated with Vulnerability
Ashley highlights that avoiding vulnerability can intensify anxiety and fear of sharing personal emotions, particularly in cultural contexts where openness is not the norm, especially for men. Continuous avoidance of vulnerability escalates the difficulty in being open over time, creating anxiety and hindering authentic communication. She suggests gradual exposure to vulnerability by taking small emotional risks to build comfort.
Encouraging Vulnerability in Others
To encourage partners or individuals to be more open, Ashley advocates for positive reinforcement by acknowledging and appreciating any shared feelings or internal states. Active listening, reflections, and validation can enhance connection and understanding, creating a safe space for vulnerability. Providing feedback on how their openness impacts personal well-being reinforces a supportive environment for deeper emotional exchange.
Effective Communication through Better Questions
Engaging in meaningful conversations revolves around asking open-ended questions that delve into internal states rather than superficial inquiries. By inquiring about personal experiences, thoughts, and emotional responses, individuals can foster deeper connections and comfort in sharing. Ashley emphasizes the power of mindfulness in being present and responsive to conversation dynamics, facilitating authentic and enriching dialogue in various interpersonal interactions.
Opening up to vulnerability, asking better questions and mindfulness are all tools to have better conversations and improve your relationships. Listen to today's show for actionable tips to engage with your partner, friends and family in deeper conversations.
In this episode with Ashley Kirsner we discuss relationship advice topics that include:
Tools to open up and become more vulnerable for deeper connections
The value of asking open ended questions and how to do it
Why you shouldn't try to fix all of your partner's problems
Why you should start sharing the impact of things your partner did
Using mindfulness to improve your conversations
Gratitude practices to start doing with your partner for immediate benefits
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