Playing With Fire 222 The Greater the Tension, the Greater the Potential: Individuating in Relationships
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Sep 20, 2025 Explore the inner tug-of-war between the freedom of non-monogamy and the desire for a singular romantic ideal. Delve into the Jungian 'tension of opposites' and discover how embracing these conflicts can lead to significant personal growth. Learn why rushing towards resolution can stifle transformation and how to find creative ways to engage with opposing feelings. Plus, insights into how to weave both monogamous and polyamorous values into your identity, along with practices for reflecting on dreams and symbols.
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Inner Conflict Is Creative Energy
- Inner conflict arises when opposing desires, thoughts, or values pull you in different directions and create physical and mental tension.
- Jolie Hamilton frames these conflicts as creative energy rather than problems to be immediately solved.
The Transcendent Function Creates Third Options
- Bearing the tension of opposites allows the psyche to create a new third option called the transcendent function.
- This third option often appears symbolically, through dreams or creative breakthroughs.
Allow Time For The Paradigm Shift
- During a paradigm shift to non-monogamy, resist rushing to learn 'the right rules' and allow the transformation to take time.
- Treat the transitional period like a chrysalis and give yourself years to shift psychologically.
