Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive

088: Setting loving – and effective! – limits

Apr 15, 2019

The podcast discusses the importance of setting loving and effective limits as parents, exploring different cultural tactics and parenting practices. It provides strategies for setting boundaries and promoting child compliance, including the use of logical consequences. The chapter descriptions delve into the impact of parenting styles and cultural differences on children's behavior and relationships.

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Introduction

00:00 • 2min

Setting loving limits and exploring different cultural tactics to control children's behavior

01:58 • 4min

Parenting Practices and Cultural Differences

06:13 • 4min

Setting Limits and Boundaries with Children

10:30 • 21min

Strategies to Encourage Children's Compliance

31:10 • 4min

Using Logical Consequences for Child Compliance

35:04 • 10min

The way we set limits has such profound implications for our parenting: it’s the difference between parenting in a constant state of anxiety, and being truly calm and confident that you’re making the right decisions as you move through your day. If we set ineffective limits, our child never knows where we stand. They push and push and push because they know we will allow it, then finally we blow up because they pushed us TOO FAR and they end up in tears (or angry) and we end up angry (or in tears, or both). But doesn’t setting limits mean being “harsh” or “punitive”? Not at all! When we set the right limits (by which I mean the right limits for your family), you can hold those limits effectively and the testing behavior will diminish dramatically. The result? More harmony at home. Less uncertainty for you. More confidence for your child. Give it a try!

Setting Loving (&Effective!) Limits Workshop

If you need more support in setting limits that your child will respect (and using far fewer of them than you might ever have thought possible – while still having your boundaries respected!), I hope you’ll join the Setting Loving (& Effective!) workshop. Click the banner to learn more.

Other episodes mentioned: Why storytelling is so important for our children Should we just Go Ahead and Heap Rewards on our Child?

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Gough, J.L. (2006). Make mild moments memorable: Add a little arousal. Trends in Cognitive Sciences 10(8), 345-347. Full article available at http://aclab.human.cornell.edu/publications/papers/McGaugh_TiCS06.pdf

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Joussemet, M., Mageau, G.A., Larose, M-P, Briand, M., & Vitaro, F. (2018). How to talk so kids will listen & listen so kids will talk: A randomized controlled trial evaluating the efficacy of the how-to parenting program on children’s mental health compared to a wait-list control group. BMC Pediatrics 18, 257-

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