506 | Neurodivergent Relationships with Dr. Ali Arena
Oct 24, 2023
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Dr. Ali Arena, a speech and language pathologist, joins Eric to discuss neurodivergent relationships. They cover topics such as communication challenges, parentification, and bringing up difficult conversations. The importance of social support and holistic communication is highlighted, along with strategies for effective communication in neurodivergent relationships. The significance of hobbies and interests in relationships is explored, and there is a discussion on sexual preferences and the neurodivergent community's openness to sexual exploration.
Understanding and accommodating differences in communication styles, such as processing information while looking away, is crucial in neurodivergent relationships.
Neurodivergent women should prioritize their needs, communicate them to their partners, and seek support from therapists specializing in neurodivergent relationships.
Finding a therapist who understands and specializes in neurodiversity is essential for navigating the unique challenges faced by neurodivergent couples.
Deep dives
Understanding the Challenges of Neurodivergent Relationships
Neurodivergent individuals often struggle with communication in relationships, making it important for partners to have an understanding of their unique needs. It is crucial to be aware of differences in listening styles, such as the need to look away while processing information, and find ways to effectively communicate and feel heard. Establishing boundaries around alone time, as well as discussing sexual preferences and needs, can help foster a healthier and more satisfying relationship. Seeking out therapists or counselors who are knowledgeable about neurodivergent relationships can also provide valuable support.
Masking and Its Impact on Neurodivergent Women
Neurodivergent women often face the pressure to mask their challenges and fit into societal expectations. It is essential for these women to recognize that their needs matter and communicate them to their partners. Discussing the impact of ADHD or other neurodivergent traits on household chores, such as struggling with organization and time management, can lead to a better understanding between partners. By establishing clear communication and seeking support from therapists who specialize in neurodivergent relationships, women can feel validated and supported.
Choosing the Right Therapist for Neurodivergent Couples
When seeking therapy for neurodivergent couples, it is crucial to find a therapist who understands and specializes in neurodiversity. A therapist with this knowledge can help navigate the unique challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals, such as communication differences, processing styles, and varying sexual preferences. Researching therapists who have experience working with neurodivergent clients and discussing their areas of expertise can ensure that both partners receive appropriate support and avoid potential harm from misunderstandings or misdiagnoses.
Importance of Self-Awareness and Communication
Developing self-awareness about one's neurodivergent traits and communication styles is crucial for effective communication within relationships. Understanding when and how to disclose one's neurodivergent identity can depend on the level of knowledge and understanding of the partner. Starting conversations with statements about personal quirks and communication preferences can help gauge their reaction and readiness for further discussion. Creating a safe space for open and honest communication can lead to better understanding and support within neurodivergent relationships.
Recognizing the Spectrum of Neurodivergent Sexualities
Neurodivergent individuals exhibit a wide spectrum of sexual preferences and orientations, with a higher representation within the LGBTQ+ community. Exploring unique needs and preferences within neurodivergent relationships, as well as accepting and validating these differences, is essential for fostering a healthy and satisfying sexual relationship. Understanding and accommodating each partner's touch preferences, discussing the role of sensory sensitivity, and being open to exploring new experiences, such as incorporating toys, can enhance sexual satisfaction in neurodivergent relationships.
In today’s episode, Eric is joined by Dr. Ali Arena! Dr. Ali is passionate about social cognition, language processing, executive functioning, and creating meaningful friendships and relationships. She is both a speech and language pathologist and a board-certified behavior analyst, has a doctorate degree in educational leadership, is becoming a licensed educational psychologist, and uses a neurodiversity- and trauma-informed lens when working with all clients. Dr. Ali’s doctorate focus was unique, to say the least, as it addresses the dating intricacies of autistics, which led her to develop her private practice for anyone who wants help socially navigating in their workplace or relationships. Lastly, Dr. Ali feels social support is a biological necessity and wants to help all neurodivergent individuals to reach wholistic communication. Find out more and get connected with Dr. Ali at Connection-Squared.com Questions/Topics: [00:01:36] Introducing Dr. Ali [00:03:26] Eric asks Dr. Ali how she got into focusing on relationships and the dating intricacies of neurodivergent people [00:05:04] Emptying the dishwasher and other themes in neurodivergent relationships [00:06:40] A discussion on parentification [00:07:53] Ways to bring up difficult conversations with a partner [00:11:31] Cleaning up 99 percent, not assuming negative meanings, and shame responses [00:18:27] Listening, eye-contact, and different ways of processing while listening [00:22:35] “How do you cope with going out to eat in a noisy restaurant?” and other sensory challenges when communicating [00:24:41] Setting yourself up for talking with your partner [00:26:02] Communicating via text [00:32:47] A discussion on neurodivergent relationships and sex [00:36:57] Neurodiversity and the LGBTQ+ community [00:39:00] Explaining neurodiversity as part of one’s identity in a relationship [00:42:54] The impact of being in a relationship with someone who understands your neurodiversity [00:45:31] Finding support for neurodivergent relationships and how to get in touch with Dr. Ali [00:46:20] One more question for Dr. Ali & closing thoughts 🌟 Want to hear the bonus questions and answer at the end of this episode? Go to adhdrewired.com/Patreon where you can get an uninterrupted listening experience of this show and bonus content when you become a Patron at $5 a month or more! You can even join Eric every 4th Tuesday of the month for a Patron-only monthly coaching call at $25 a month! 🌟 Have you heard about our Adult Study Hall Community? Go to adultstudyhall.com to join our ADHD-friendly body-doubling community! 🌟 Interested in group coaching and want to take your ADHD management to the next level? Go to coachingrewired.com to get all the up-to-date information on the upcoming season of ADHD reWired's award-winning Coaching & Accountability groups!
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