547: How to Limit Time With the Wrong People, with Carey Nieuwhof

Sep 27, 2021

Carey Nieuwhof, a bestselling leadership author and CEO, dives into the challenges we face with energy-draining relationships. He highlights how many leaders give too much time to people who aren't benefiting from the interaction. Carey emphasizes the necessity of having candid conversations to streamline connections and encourages listeners to proactively spend time with the right people. He also shares valuable insights on managing relationships for personal well-being and professional success, all while combating burnout in leadership!

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ANECDOTE

The Nancy Calls

Carey Nieuwhof's grandmother received a daily call from a friend named Nancy.
To politely end these lengthy, unproductive calls, she would ask Carey to call her from outside.

INSIGHT

Time and Demands

Those who demand your time often shouldn't have it.
Conversely, those who deserve your time rarely ask for it.

ADVICE

Spotting Ineffective Help

Recognize "flat learning curves" as a sign you're not helping.
Repeated meetings with no change signal a need to re-evaluate.

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Carey Nieuwhof: At Your Best

Carey Nieuwhof is a former lawyer, a bestselling leadership author, a podcaster, and the CEO of Carey Nieuwhof Communications. He speaks to leaders around the world about leadership, change, and personal growth. He writes a widely read leadership blog at CareyNieuwhof.com and also hosts the top-rated Carey Nieuwhof Leadership podcast. He’s the author of At Your Best: How to Get Time, Energy, and Priorities Working in Your Favor*.

In this conversation, Carey and I explore the reality that so many of us face in both our personal and professional lives: spending time with the wrong kind of people. We discuss how to notice we’re not helping, how to limit time, and what to do when a conversation needs to happen. Plus, we make the invitation to proactively do what often gets missed: spending time with the right people more consistently.

Key Points

The people who want your time are rarely the people who should have your time.
Many leaders give too much time and attention away to people who aren’t helped by the interaction.
Having a frank conversation with a person who you’re not helping is usually good for both of you.
If you’re not able to limit interactions with the wrong kind of person, line up those interactions outside of your key energy times.
A key way to do better at limiting time with the wrong people is to affirmatively decide to spend time with the right people.

Resources Mentioned

Burnout Quiz
At Your Best Today
At Your Best: How to Get Time, Energy, and Priorities Working in Your Favor* by Carey Nieuwhof

Interview Notes

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