Can't Host: Gay, Bisexual, and Queer Men’s Sex and Relationships Ep.72: The Psychology of Heartbreak with Cole Zesiger
Oct 24, 2025
In this engaging discussion, breakup and relationship coach Cole Zesiger delves into the emotional landscape of heartbreak. He explains why breakups can feel akin to life-or-death experiences. Listeners learn about the no-contact rule as a necessary detox and how micro-wins can reignite personal strength. Cole also shares insights on grieving without getting stuck and the transformative journey of love post-breakup. His practical tools and relatable stories offer a refreshing perspective on healing and self-growth after relationships.
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From Early Divorce To Coaching Career
- Cole Zesiger married at 20, divorced at 23, then rushed into another relationship and repeated pain.
- He turned his breakup learning into TikTok content, coaching, and eventually met his wife through that work.
Expectations Are Cultural, Not Universal
- Societal and family expectations shape relationship roles and can create conflicts if partners' cultures clash.
- Both partners must flex and build a shared culture rather than assuming one family's norms are default.
Why Breakups Feel Like Survival Threats
- Human brains treat breakups like life-or-death because attachment evolved to ensure tribe survival.
- That ancient circuitry explains adrenaline, rumination, and dopamine loss after separations.
