How to Stop Emotional Triggers Before They Control You

13 snips

Oct 9, 2025

Emotional triggers can derail our reactions, making us say things we regret. Scott emphasizes that trying to shut down emotions isn’t the solution; it's about recognizing and accepting them. He shares a simple three-step method to help manage reactions: notice after, during, and before an outburst. This practical approach encourages catching yourself in the moment and learning from setbacks. A listener’s heartfelt email reminds us that emotional awareness matters at every stage of life.

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ANECDOTE

Listener Email That Sparked Reflection

Scott received an email from a listener born in 2005 who started listening in 2021 and thanked him for helping her into adulthood.
The message reminded Scott of 20 years doing the show and why the topic of emotional triggers matters across generations.

INSIGHT

Emotions Often Win Before You React

Emotional habits often trigger actions before you can consciously respond.
That automaticity is the main frustration when we act against our intentions.

INSIGHT

Don't Aim To Shutdown Emotions

Trying to shut down emotions is neither realistic nor desirable.
Being emotionally numb removes valuable human connection and isn't the goal.

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How to Stop Emotional Triggers Before They Control You

October 9, 2025 | Episode 5199

Host: Scott Smith

Episode Description

You know that moment when your mouth moves faster than your brain?

When you say exactly what you promised yourself you wouldn't say? We've all been there. Scott breaks down the frustrating reality of emotional triggers and why trying to shut them down completely is the wrong approach.

Here's the thing: You're emotional. I'm emotional. We all are.

The trick isn't becoming some cold, disconnected robot. It's learning to catch yourself earlier in the process. Scott shares his simple three-step method that anyone can use, starting right where you are today.

Featured Story

After 20 years of doing this podcast, Scott got an email from Eda, a listener born in 2005.

She's been listening since 2021 and thanked him for helping her into adulthood. She almost qualified as a "boost baby" - those second-generation listeners whose parents rocked them to sleep with Scott's voice in their ears

The timing hit Scott hard. Twenty years shakes him too.

It also reminded him why this topic matters so much. Whether you're just entering adulthood or you've been around the block a few times, emotional triggers affect everyone. Every age. Every stage of life. And the wine-fueled conversations with your spouse where you say that thing you swore you wouldn't say? Yeah, those too.

Important Points

Your emotional habits trigger your actions before you can do anything about them - that's the most frustrating part.

You can't control emotions by shutting them down, and the day you're not affected by emotions, you're probably not someone worth hanging around.

Training yourself to interrupt the pattern works, but it takes stumbling through the middle stages before you finally catch yourself in time.

Memorable Quotes

"I get paid to put my foot in my mouth."

"The day that you're not affected by emotions, I'm not sure I want to be your friend."

"By the way, these techniques do not work under the influence of wine. They just don't."

Scott's Three-Step Approach

Step 1: Catch yourself after you've done it - notice what happened and promise yourself you'll catch it sooner next time.

Step 2: Catch yourself in the middle of it - even if you still finish saying what you didn't want to say, you're interrupting the pattern and breaking it.

Step 3: Catch yourself before you act and stop it - this is the goal, and it happens when you finally see your lips moving but nothing comes out.

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