44 - DATING - You only date or chase emotionally unavailable people, if you are emotionally unavailable too. Discussing subconscious blocks to finding love
Jul 18, 2022
43:28
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Chasing emotionally unavailable partners? This podcast explores why we choose people who reinforce how we feel about ourselves, the psychology of breadcrumbing, breaking unconscious attraction patterns, and the correlation between emotional availability and partner choices.
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Quick takeaways
Unconscious attraction drives individuals to choose partners who reinforce their own emotional unavailability.
Fear of conflict and discomfort can hinder deep intimacy and emotional availability in relationships.
Deep dives
Emotional unavailability and the role of unconscious attraction
The podcast episode delves into the concept of emotional unavailability and how it is connected to unconscious attraction. The hosts discuss how individuals often find themselves attracted to partners who reinforce their own emotional unavailability. They explain that unconscious attraction is driven by childhood experiences and the need to recreate familiar patterns and roles in relationships. It is emphasized that being emotionally available means being able to connect with oneself, authentically expressing feelings, needs, and experiences, and being open to deep emotional connection and intimacy. The hosts also highlight the importance of recognizing superficial relationships and the fear of true intimacy as barriers to emotional availability.
Communication and conflict in relationships
The podcast explores the role of communication and conflict in relationships. It is noted that individuals who were taught to suppress their emotions as children may struggle to communicate and be emotionally available in their adult relationships. The hosts highlight the importance of being in touch with one's truth, needs, and preferences, and being able to express them authentically in relationships. They discuss the fear and discomfort associated with conflict and how it can prevent individuals from experiencing deep intimacy. The episode emphasizes that learning conscious communication and being honest in relationships are essential for emotional availability and building healthy connections.
Breaking the cycle of emotional unavailability
The podcast offers insights on breaking the cycle of emotional unavailability in relationships. The hosts discuss the connection between childhood experiences and attraction to emotionally unavailable partners. They stress that understanding one's fears and beliefs related to self-worth, being too much or not enough, and fear of abandonment is crucial. The episode highlights that healing oneself and shifting these beliefs can lead to choosing healthier partners. The hosts also emphasize the importance of self-awareness, small steps of awareness and action, and the recognition that the process of change takes time and effort.
The pursuit of true intimacy and overcoming limiting beliefs
The podcast delves into the pursuit of true intimacy and overcoming limiting beliefs. The hosts discuss the allure of emotionally unavailable partners, even when individuals consciously desire a healthy relationship. They highlight that emotional unavailability prevents individuals from experiencing deep connection and true intimacy. The episode emphasizes the need for individuals to heal and shift themselves, letting go of familiar but unhealthy relationship dynamics. The hosts also discuss the importance of recognizing and challenging limiting beliefs around self-worth and the possibility of experiencing true love and intimacy. They encourage listeners to embrace self-awareness and work towards building conscious, loving relationships.
Constantly chasing after hot and cold men and women? One moment they are interested, the next they aren’t? They say they want to hang out but then they disappear? You get close, then they pull back. This episode is for you - and we have one hard truth to swallow: you only date or chase emotionally unavailable people, if you are emotionally unavailable too
Louise Rumball & clinical psychologist Dr Tari Mack look in today’s episode at:
⇢What is unconscious attraction ⠀ ⇢Why you choose people who reinforce how we feel about ourselves ⠀ ⇢Why we are attracted to partners who recreate our patterns, roles, templates from childhood ⠀ ⇢Why you can think you want a relationship, but be blocking yourself ⠀ ⇢What have you been conditioned with that has shaped your beliefs around love, dating and more? ⠀ ⇢The psychology of breadcrumbing + how to stop engaging with it
Louise also shares:
⇢How she has been breaking her unconscious attraction in micro moments
⠀ ⇢Why it’s ok for the process to take a while ⠀ ⇢And who she has been missing from her past