On Premarital Sex Part 2: Reimagining Celibacy

In Part 2 of our most-downloaded series On Premarital Sex, Jess and Debbie turn the conversation toward the other side of the sexual ethics spectrum: celibacy.

After exploring progressive sexual ethics with Mathias Roberts in Part 1, this episode asks a different set of questions:

• What does celibacy really mean?

• How is celibacy different from abstinence?

• Can celibacy be a dignified, intentional Christian calling—not just the default for "other people"?

• And what does celibacy look like for straight Christians, queer Christians, divorced Christians, widows, and everyone in between?

Jess and Debbie speak with two remarkable guests:

Peter Valk

A licensed professional counsellor, director of Equip, and co-founder of the Nashville Family of Brothers—a Christian brotherhood for men called to vocational singleness. Peter shares:

• What vocational celibacy is (and isn't)

• How he discerned his call

• Why celibacy can be an expression of sexuality, not a suppression

• How celibate Christians cultivate intimacy and family

• Why discernment should be part of every Christian's vocational life

Dr. Dani Treweek

Theologian, Anglican deacon, and director of Single Minded. Dani reframes celibacy through church history and Scripture:

• The difference between lifelong celibacy and present-moment abstinence

• How Western Christianity lost its theological grounding for singleness

• Why celibacy is a fully human expression of sexuality

• The grief, ambiguity, contentment, and spiritual depth involved in choosing abstinence

• How eschatology ("we will be like the angels") changes everything

Together, these conversations reimagine celibacy as beautiful, purposeful, communal, and deeply Christian—not a failure, not a holding pattern, not an afterthought.

You'll also hear listener stories on abstinence, asexuality, unexpected celibacy, and why some Christians feel more freechoosing sexual abstinence after leaving purity culture.

✨ PLUS: A bonus Patreon-only episode where Peter and Dani go deeper into monastic rhythms, family beyond the nuclear norm, and the theology shaping their choices. Join us at wheredowegopod.com/partner

• Equip Your Community – Peter Valk

• Nashville Family of Brothers

• Dani Treweek — Single Minded Ministry

• Dani's doctoral work: The End of Singleness

• Marriage, A History – Stephanie Coontz

• Beth Allison Barr, The Making of Biblical Womanhood

• Survey link for the upcoming listener episode on premarital sex (anonymous submission)