#1234 - Teens and Tech Pushback

Apr 28, 2025

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What do you do when your teen pushes back on your tech boundaries—especially when they paid for the device themselves? In this episode, Dr. Justin and Kylie Coulson tackle two parent questions about teenage independence, screen use, and safety. They offer a practical, relationship-first strategy for navigating the tension between adolescent autonomy and parental responsibility, using their tried-and-tested "Three E's" framework to build connection and cooperation.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
"Rules without relationship will lead to rebellion."

KEY INSIGHTS FOR PARENTS:

Adolescents Seek Autonomy: Teens paying for their own devices often feel ownership equals full control—parents must acknowledge this growing independence.
Confiscation Isn’t the Answer: Power-based strategies (like taking away devices) often fuel resistance and damage relationships.
Use the Three E's: Explore, Explain, Empower is a proven method for having meaningful, collaborative conversations with teens.
Set the Stage for Success: Food, comfort, and a non-threatening tone can make hard conversations easier and more productive.
Trust Takes Time: Teens may resist at first, but consistency, humility, and genuine listening will eventually build mutual trust.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

The Three E's of Effective Discipline framework by Dr. Justin Coulson
Happy Families Podcast submission form: happyfamilies.com.au

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

Create a Connection-First Environment: Use food or small comforts to set a positive tone before difficult conversations.
Explore: Invite your teen to share their views. Reflect back what they say without judgment.
Explain: Briefly share your concerns around things like sleep, safety, and relationships.
Empower: Ask your teen to come up with solutions. Collaborate to find common ground that feels fair for both sides.
Stay Consistent and Patient: If the first conversation doesn’t go well, try again. Building trust is a long game—but it's worth it.

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