Huberman Lab

Dr. Becky Kennedy: Protocols for Excellent Parenting & Improving Relationships of All Kinds

Feb 26, 2024

02:54:01

Snipd AI

Dr. Becky Kennedy shares actionable protocols for parenting and improving all relationships, discussing setting boundaries, empathy, and emotional validation. The episode covers parenting challenges, building self-confidence, communication with ADHD individuals, and fostering emotional resilience in children and adolescents.

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Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

Validate children's emotions with 'I believe you' to instill confidence.

Trauma in children stems from a lack of repair after distressing incidents.

Proper repair after conflicts is crucial for preventing trauma in kids.

Parental repair fosters emotional resilience by validating children's emotions.

Parents should focus on genuine apologies and avoid relying on kids for emotional support.

Understanding underlying emotions can diffuse retorts and rudeness in children.

Deep dives

The Power of Belief in Children's Confidence

Acknowledging a child's emotions and experiences with the phrase "I believe you" can instill real confidence, making them feel validated and understood. This phrase goes beyond just "I hear you" by conveying trust in the child's feelings and experiences, fostering a sense of being real and safe in their interactions.

The Job of Parenting, One: Boundaries.

01:11

Validate kids’ feelings and set boundaries to reinforce their safety

02:07

Building Confidence through Belief and Trust

01:27

We Punish Behavior When It Is Lack of Skill

00:34

Introduction

3min

Acknowledgment of Sponsor and Promotion of Yerba Maté

1min

Red Light Therapy Benefits and Aeropress Coffee Maker Introduction

3min

Building Sturdy Relationships in Parenting

22min

Exploring Gut Health, Child Development, and Parental Influence

4min

Fostering Self-Trust and Validating Feelings in Parenting

29min

Navigating Parenting Strategies and Relationship Dynamics

2min

Navigating the Emotional Dynamics of Parenting

32min

Navigating Energy and Tools for High-Energy Kids

16min

10.

Navigating Parenting Dynamics and Emotional Development

19min

11.

Strengthening Family Dynamics through Communication and Leadership

9min

12.

Navigating Parenting Challenges and Instilling Values

29min

13.

Guidance on Parenting, Relationships and Supporting the Podcast

3min

In this episode, my guest is Dr. Becky Kennedy, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and founder of Good Inside, an education platform for parents and parents-to-be. We discuss actionable protocols for raising resilient, emotionally healthy kids and effective alternatives to typical forms of reward and punishment that instead teach children valuable skills and strengthen the parent-child bond. These protocols also apply to other types of relationships: professional, romantic, friendships, siblings, etc.

We explain how to respond to emotional outbursts, rudeness, and entitlement, repair fractured relationships, build self-confidence, and improve interpersonal connections with empathy while maintaining healthy boundaries.

We also discuss how to effectively communicate with children and adults with ADHD, anxiety, learning challenges, or with “deeply feeling” individuals.

The conversation is broadly applicable to all types of social interactions and bonds. By the end of the episode, you will have learned simple yet powerful tools to build healthy relationships with kids, teens, adults, and oneself.

For show notes, including referenced articles and additional resources, please visit hubermanlab.com.

Thank you to our sponsors

AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman

Mateína: https://drinkmateina.com/huberman

Joovv: https://joovv.com/huberman

AeroPress: https://aeropress.com/huberman

InsideTracker: https://insidetracker.com/huberman

Momentous: https://livemomentous.com/huberman

Timestamps

(00:00:00) Dr. Becky Kennedy

(00:02:44) Sponsors: Mateína, Joovv & AeroPress

(00:07:35) Healthy Relationships: Sturdiness, Boundaries & Empathy

(00:14:34) Tool: Establishing Boundaries

(00:18:24) Rules, Boundaries & Connection

(00:22:19) Rewards & Punishments; Skill Building

(00:29:48) Sponsor: AG1

(00:31:16) Kids & Inherent Good

(00:34:06) Family Jobs, Validation & Confidence, Giving Hope

(00:41:54) Rewards, Pride

(00:44:48) Tool: “I Believe You”, Confidence & Safety; Other Relationships

(00:52:15) Trauma, Aloneness & Repair

(00:57:07) Tool: Repair & Apologies, Rejecting Apology

(01:01:04) Tool: Good Apologies

(01:03:35) Sponsor: InsideTracker

(01:04:37) Tool: Rudeness & Disrespect, Most Generous Interpretation

(01:12:32) Walking on Eggshells, Pilot Analogy & Emotional Outbursts, Sturdy Leadership

(01:20:49) Deeply Feeling Kids; Fears, Sensory Overload

(01:30:10) Co-Parenting Differences & Punishment

(01:37:11) Tool: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD); Meditation

(01:41:20) Tool: Tolerating Frustration, Screen Time, Learning

(01:51:57) Grace & Parenthood, Parenting Job Description; Relationship to Self

(01:55:24) Tool: “I’m Noticing”, Asking Questions; Emotional Regulation

(02:01:15) Adolescence & Critical Needs, Explorers vs. Nomads

(02:09:58) Saying “I Love You”, Teenagers; Family Meetings

(02:15:07) Self-Care, Rage & Boundaries; Sturdy Leaders; Parent Relationship & Conflict

(02:22:08) Tool: Wayward Teens, Marijuana & Substance Use, Getting Additional Help

(02:30:03) Mentors

(02:34:26) Tool: Entitlement, Fear & Frustration

(02:41:57) Tool: Experiencing Frustration; Chores & Allowance

(02:46:31) Good Inside Platform

(02:51:27) Zero-Cost Support, Spotify & Apple Reviews, YouTube Feedback, Sponsors, Momentous, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter

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Huberman Lab

Dr. Becky Kennedy: Protocols for Excellent Parenting & Improving Relationships of All Kinds

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

Deep dives

The Power of Belief in Children's Confidence

Understanding Trauma and Responsibility in Child Development

The Impact of Repairing Relationships After Conflicts

Parental Repair as a Foundation for Emotional Resilience

Helping Kids Navigate Self-Repair and Emotional Resolution

Effective Apologies and Boundary Setting in Parenting

Managing Retorts and Rudeness in Relationships

Building Resilience and Navigating Emotional Complexity

Fostering Healthy Emotional Development in Children

Navigating the Teenage Years with Empathy and Understanding

Addressing Entitlement and Frustration in Parenting

Promoting Practical Parenting Strategies and Resources

The Job of Parenting, One: Boundaries.

Validate kids’ feelings and set boundaries to reinforce their safety

Building Confidence through Belief and Trust

We Punish Behavior When It Is Lack of Skill

Thank you to our sponsors

Timestamps

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Huberman Lab

Dr. Becky Kennedy: Protocols for Excellent Parenting & Improving Relationships of All Kinds

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

Deep dives

The Power of Belief in Children's Confidence

Understanding Trauma and Responsibility in Child Development

The Impact of Repairing Relationships After Conflicts

Parental Repair as a Foundation for Emotional Resilience

Helping Kids Navigate Self-Repair and Emotional Resolution

Effective Apologies and Boundary Setting in Parenting

Managing Retorts and Rudeness in Relationships

Building Resilience and Navigating Emotional Complexity

Fostering Healthy Emotional Development in Children

Navigating the Teenage Years with Empathy and Understanding

Addressing Entitlement and Frustration in Parenting

Promoting Practical Parenting Strategies and Resources

The Job of Parenting, One: Boundaries.

Validate kids’ feelings and set boundaries to reinforce their safety

Building Confidence through Belief and Trust

We Punish Behavior When It Is Lack of Skill

Thank you to our sponsors

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