Our Marriage Breakdown

Feb 20, 2025

Brandon and Caitlyn expose the raw realities of their marriage's transformation through betrayal and healing. They share their struggles with trust and intimacy, revealing the impact of infidelity and emotional numbness. The couple discusses the crucial steps they took to confront deep-rooted issues and rebuild their relationship with radical honesty. Personal anecdotes illuminate the journey of navigating societal beliefs about love while advocating for genuine connection and accountability. Their story serves as a compelling testament to the possibility of recovery in troubled marriages.

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ANECDOTE

Early Marriage Shock

Brandon and Caitlyn married young and naively, expecting love to prevent intentional hurt.
Caitlyn was shocked to find Brandon looking at inappropriate non-pornographic content less than a year into marriage.

INSIGHT

Root Causes of Betrayal

At root, all forms of betrayal stem from unhealed trauma and cultural mindsets.
Healing requires uprooting these deep systems, not just addressing surface behaviors.

INSIGHT

Denial's Double Reality

Denial allows living in two realities to avoid shame over betrayal.
This double life causes anxiety, depression, and self-hatred, blocking true healing.

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In this episode of Grounded Union Podcast, hosts Brandon and Caitlyn Doerksen pull back the curtain on the painful and transformative journey of their marriage. From youthful naivety to a devastating breakdown in 2019, they reveal how hidden struggles, denial structures, and deep-seated beliefs about love and sexuality nearly tore them apart. Brandon's years of deception—justified by religious paradigms—led to a cycle of betrayal and broken trust, while Caitlyn stood firm in her standards for intimacy and transparency. Together, they share how they dismantled toxic cycles, faced their deepest wounds, and rebuilt a marriage based on radical honesty and genuine connection. If you've ever wondered if true healing is possible after betrayal, this episode is your proof that it is. 💛

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Timestamps & Key Moments

00:00:28 – Welcome to the Grounded Union Podcast! Brandon and Caitlyn introduce their story and the importance of honoring your own marriage journey.
00:01:30 – The early years: Getting married young, checking all the “right” boxes, and still feeling unprepared.
00:02:39 – The first betrayal: Caitlyn discovers Brandon looking at inappropriate content—not porn, but still a breach of trust.
00:04:09 – Lies, emotional shutdown, and living a double life while in ministry.
00:07:04 – The toxic five-year cycle: Lies, promises, and repeated betrayal.
00:10:56 – "It’s all the same at the root": Why all forms of betrayal, big or small, stem from unhealed traumas and cultural mindsets.
00:16:36 – 2019: The breaking point. Caitlyn draws a line—no more lies, no more empty promises.
00:21:02 – Denial structures: How men justify their behavior and why breaking through requires total honesty.
00:25:07 – The painful truth: If you don’t face reality, the cycle will continue.
00:32:51 – Holding the standard: Why Caitlyn refused to lower her expectations, and how that saved their marriage.
00:40:14 – A pivotal moment: A Christian counselor exposes his own biases, leading Brandon to choose his marriage over broken male paradigms.
00:45:44 – The decision: Brandon finally commits to total transparency and healing.