A Real Couples Session: Fear The Relationship Will End & Self Soothing Childhood Wounds
Feb 21, 2024
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In a real couples session, Brianna and Tanner discuss communication challenges and childhood wounds activations, highlighting the importance of feeling heard and effective communication. They explore taking ownership, creating a safe space, and self-soothing. The podcast delves into humor, technical difficulties, and the health benefits of hydrogen water. Understanding triggers, childhood wounds, embracing physical touch for emotional resolution, and navigating apologies are key topics discussed.
Effective communication is key in relationships to prevent childhood wounds from dictating behaviors.
Creating a safe and supportive environment and addressing childhood wounds are crucial for building a strong relationship.
Deep dives
Theme 1: Communication Challenges
Tanner and Brianna struggle with effectively communicating their feelings and emotions to each other. They share an incident where Tanner's aggressive email tone and Brianna needing to use the bathroom escalated into a conflict due to their communication styles and emotional reactions. They both acknowledge the need for improvement in expressing their emotions in a timely and respectful manner.
Theme 2: Childhood Wounds
Tanner reveals that his need for attention and not feeling heard as a child is activated in their relationship. He recognizes that he often seeks validation and attention in different ways. Brianna also acknowledges her fear-based reactions, stemming from past experiences with an alcoholic and abusive partner. They discuss how these childhood wounds impact their interactions and the importance of creating a safe and supportive environment for each other.
Theme 3: Building a Safe Space
The couple discusses the significance of feeling safe in their relationship. They explore the dynamics around alcohol and how it triggers fear and anxiety in Brianna due to past experiences. They recognize the need to work together to help Brianna feel safe and overcome her fears, emphasizing the importance of open communication, support, and creating new positive experiences to reshape their narrative.
In this real couples session, Brianna and Tanner discuss their communication challenges and the activations of their childhood wounds in their relationship. They explore how Brianna struggles with feeling heard and Tanner struggles with effectively communicating his feelings. John highlights the importance of taking ownership, creating a safe space, and self-soothing in order to overcome these challenges and build a stronger relationship.
This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/angry and start building a better relationship with yourself.
Roughly ten minutes of self help in a shot glass. If you're looking for a wine glass, you've come to the wrong place. Marriage family therapist and best-selling author, John Kim, shares his life and love revelations as well as insights from his sessions. He pulls the curtain back and documents his journey as a therapist but more importantly, as a human being.