Ep 80: Puberty: How to Talk About it And What to Say
Feb 5, 2021
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In this engaging discussion, Vanessa Kroll-Bennett, founder of Dynamo Girl and puberty educator, shares invaluable insights on guiding kids through puberty. She emphasizes the importance of using anatomically correct language and teaching consent early to foster understanding and reduce shame. The conversation explores how to discuss sensitive topics like menstruation and sexuality openly, instilling confidence in children. Vanessa also highlights the need for parents to engage with media like 'Big Mouth' to facilitate productive discussions on puberty.
Start conversations about puberty early using accurate anatomical terms to empower children with knowledge about their bodies and reduce shame.
Introduce the concept of consent from a young age, teaching children about personal boundaries and the importance of respectful communication.
Promote self-acceptance and healthy habits during puberty to help children navigate physical changes and societal pressures regarding body image.
Deep dives
The Importance of Early Conversations About Puberty
Conversations about puberty should start early, as using correct anatomical terminology—such as penis, vagina, and vulva—helps normalize discussions around the body. This approach, which might feel uncomfortable for parents unfamiliar with such language, builds a foundation for kids to understand their bodies without shame. Research indicates that when children can accurately name their body parts, they are less likely to become victims of abuse. By fostering an open dialogue from a young age, parents can help ensure that their children feel comfortable discussing sensitive topics as they grow older.
Understanding Consent and Comfort
The concept of consent goes beyond sexual contexts; it also includes understanding personal boundaries and respect. From as early as toddlerhood, parents can introduce age-appropriate conversations about consent in everyday situations, such as asking a child for permission before a hug or a dental visit. This lays a foundation for children to understand that their feelings matter and to express their comfort levels. Such early discussions make it easier for kids to navigate more complex topics surrounding relationships and boundaries as they mature.
Navigating Questions About Sex and Relationships
As children grow, they will inevitably ask questions about sex and reproduction, often necessitating open and honest answers. Parents should be prepared to address queries in a straightforward manner, providing age-appropriate responses that demystify the subject. For instance, when discussing how babies are made, it's essential to clarify the biological process simply and understandably. This prevents confusion and ensures children receive accurate information in a safe environment, minimizing the likelihood of learning about such topics from potentially misleading peers.
Encouraging Healthy Attitudes Towards Body Changes
During puberty, children may experience weight gain and physical changes that can lead to insecurity and anxiety, affecting both boys and girls. It's crucial for parents to promote self-acceptance and healthy habits rather than focusing on weight or appearance. Ensuring children engage in physical activities and make healthy food choices can help them feel better during this transformative stage. Open conversations about body image and the natural changes of growing up foster resilience and confidence while navigating societal pressures regarding beauty and fitness.
Creating a Safe Space for Dialogue
Establishing a communicative household environment is vital for children as they face various challenges during puberty. Parents should encourage open discussions, showing readiness to listen and support any inquiries their children may have about their emotional and physical experiences. Techniques such as sharing personal experiences, using storytelling, or discussing relatable media, can make it easier for kids to engage in conversations. The aim is to create a trusting space where kids feel comfortable approaching their parents about difficult subjects without fear of judgment, allowing them to build a healthy relationship with their own changing bodies.
