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Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

#1179 - Why Your Three-Year-Old Seems Possessed (And What to Do)

Feb 17, 2025
14:10

When everything's a battle with your three-year-old, understanding the developmental realities can transform your approach. Learn why emotional regulation, theory of mind, and language development explain those challenging behaviours, and discover three practical solutions that actually work. Plus, find out why your child might be an angel at daycare but struggle at home - and why that's actually a good sign.

Quote of the Episode: "We expect way too much of our children emotionally and not nearly enough of them physically."

Key Insights:

  • Emotional regulation begins developing at age 3-4
  • Theory of Mind develops around ages 4.5-5.5
  • Language limitations affect behaviour management
  • Different contexts (home vs daycare) create different behaviours
  • Connection matters more than correction
  • Rushing and time pressure escalate emotions
  • The importance of autonomy for toddler cooperation
  • Fun can transform routine tasks

Resources Mentioned:

Action Steps for Parents:

  1. Slow Down
    • Create margin in routines
    • Reduce rushing
    • Maintain calm
  2. Build Connection
    • Focus on feeling seen, heard, and valued
    • Prioritize emotional availability
    • Engage in their activities
  3. Make it Fun
    • Add playful elements to routine tasks
    • Use music and movement
    • Transform ordinary moments with simple games

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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