Optimal Relationships Daily - Dating, Marriage & Parenting

1975: Softened Start-Up: Gottman’s Way to Gentle Beginnings by Dr. Kathy McMahon of Couples Therapy Inc on Communication in Relationships

Nov 25, 2023

10:42

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Dr. Kathy McMahon, clinical psychologist and therapist, discusses the importance of having gentle conversations with your partner. She emphasizes the benefits of a soft startup in fostering healthy communication, trust, and emotional connection. Learn how a gentle approach can transform complaints into productive conversations.

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Quick takeaways

A soft startup in conversations is crucial for creating and maintaining good relationships, as it sets the tone and significantly reduces destructive behaviors like criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

Using eye statements to express feelings and desires, focusing on specific issues, and avoiding destructive behaviors promotes empathy, understanding, and a safe space for both partners to connect and cultivate a solid and enduring relationship.

Deep dives

The Importance of Soft Startup

In intimate relationships, the first few words of a conversation or conflict can set the tone for what follows. A Gottman, Soften Startup is vital to creating and maintaining good relationships. How we start conversations dramatically affects how effectively the interaction goes. A soft startup is a gentle, non-confrontational approach to addressing concerns, expressing needs, or engaging in conversation. Partners should use eye statements to express feelings and desires, focus on the specific issue, and avoid the four destructive behaviors: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

Introduction

6min

The Power of Gentle Beginnings in Relationships

2min

Effective Communication and Challenges in Relationships

3min

Dr. Kathy McMahon talks about having gentle conversations with your partner

Episode 1975: Softened Start-Up: Gottman’s Way to Gentle Beginnings by Dr. Kathy McMahon of Couples Therapy Inc on Communication in Relationships

Dr. Kathy McMahon is a clinical psychologist and therapist. She is also the founder and president of Couples Therapy Inc. Dr. K feels passionate about couples therapy and holds a deep respect towards those who invest in making their relationship better. She is currently conducting online and in person private couples retreats.

Her team of over 25 clinicians at Couples Therapy Inc. have over 600 years of combined expertise helping couples. Five are former Program Directors of Graduate Schools, or have taught at a graduate level, and all have advanced training in a science-based approach. They’re here to provide the very best online marriage counseling to couples in need across the globe.

The original post is located here: https://www.couplestherapyinc.com/softened-start-up-gottmans-way-to-gentle-beginnings/

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