157. [FEISTY WIFE EPISODE] Stop Wanting Your Partner To Be More Like You w/ Silvy Khoucasian LMFT

What happens when a precision-timed therapist and a free-spirited adventurer fall in love? In this candid, spicy, and surprisingly hilarious conversation, Bryan Reeves and Silvy Khoucasian pull back the curtain on their own relationship to explore what it really takes to embrace differences—and not just survive them, but grow because of them.

From cultural clashes to conflicting travel styles, sexual pacing to social preferences, they reveal the real stories behind the highlight reel—and how they've learned to navigate those gaps without losing themselves (or each other).

Whether you’re navigating a new relationship or decades into one, this episode is your permission slip to stop fixing, start witnessing, and love without needing sameness.

⏱️ Episode Highlights:

00:00 – Silvy calls Bryan out.

02:00 – Introducing Silvy: “This is my unmasked version”

03:30 – Speaking alongside The Gottmans at the Real Love Ready Conference

05:00 – Time: Is being late disrespect—or just different wiring?

08:00 – Ireland trip flashback: how they travel at totally different speeds

10:30 – “You’re fast. I’m slow.” – Processing pace in life and relationship

13:00 – Cultural differences: Armenian-Arabic collectivism vs. American individualism

16:00 – Privacy vs. openness: Who gets to tell the story?

18:30 – Affection gaps, erotic blueprints, and the golden retriever dynamic

21:00 – The wounds we bring: neglect, protection, and projection

25:00 – “Willing to disappoint—and to be disappointed”

27:00 – Grieving expectations: Letting go of the fantasy version of your partner

30:00 – Creating clear agreements vs. quiet resentment

33:00 – The dance of individuality and support

35:00 – Navigating transitions and identity shifts over 10 years

38:00 – Why difference isn’t the enemy—it’s the initiation

40:00 – Wrap-up and a preview of more episodes to come

🧠 Notable Quotes:

“The problem isn’t our differences—it’s making them wrong that causes problems.” – Silvy

“Your wound is holding hands with mine.” – Bryan

“I grieve my expectations of you so that I may discover your love yet again.” – Silvy

“You’re in my story now. It’s not just mine anymore.” – Bryan

“When it’s hysterical, it’s historical.” – Silvy and Bryan

“Respect can still be late.” – Silvy

“Resentment dies in the land of clear agreements.” – Bryan

💌 Connect with Bryan & Silvy:

Bryan Reeves → https://bryanreeves.com

Silvy Khoucasian → www.silvykhoucasian.com