Conversation w/ Ronald Rolheiser: Restlessness, Giving Your Death Away, Dealing With Anger + the Power of Fidelity

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Jan 20, 2026

In this conversation, Fr. Ronald Rolheiser, a renowned Catholic priest and theologian, shares profound insights on life's struggles and spiritual journeys. He explores the concept of restlessness as a calling and the idea that our daily responsibilities can serve as spiritual reminders. Discussing his book, *Domestic Monastery*, he highlights how parenting is a transformative process for both children and parents. Rolheiser also reflects on aging, facing cancer, and the art of surrendering with purpose, urging fidelity in our commitments as we navigate life's challenges.

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INSIGHT

Restlessness Points Toward God

Augustine's line explains restlessness: we're made for God and incomplete here.
Fr. Ronald Rolheiser says restlessness is healthy and pushes us beyond settling for second best.

ADVICE

Turn Ordinary Tasks Into Practice

Treat daily obligations as monastic bells that call you to faithfulness.
Use alarm clocks, mortgages, and schedules to shape your spiritual practice, Rolheiser says.

ANECDOTE

Kids Put A Belt Around You

Rolheiser recounts John 21 where Jesus tells Peter others will put a belt around you.
He says children and marriage 'put a belt around you' and raise parents into self-gift.

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In this episode, we sit down with Fr. Ronald Rolheiser, one of the most trusted and influential spiritual voices of our time, and someone whose work we deeply admire and return to often. A Catholic priest, theologian, and author, Fr. Rolheiser has spent more than 50 years teaching and writing about prayer, vocation, and the interior life, helping countless people understand how God meets us in ordinary, everyday faithfulness.

Now 78 and a cancer survivor of more than a decade, Fr. Rolheiser reflects on this current stage of life and what it means to finish well. Drawing from his framework of getting your life together, giving your life away, and giving your death away, he shares wisdom shaped by experience, suffering, and surrender, reminding us that the way we die is the spirit we leave behind.

Much of the conversation centers on restlessness, particularly in midlife. Fr. Rolheiser explains that our restlessness is not something to eliminate but a sign that we are “built too big for this world.” Rather than escaping it, he invites us to listen for what God may be teaching us through it, especially as fathers learning to integrate spiritual life with ordinary responsibilities.

We also explore ideas from his book, Domestic Monastery, where daily obligations — alarm clocks, mortgages, and kids’ schedules — become monastic bells calling us to faithfulness. Parents, he says, don’t raise kids; kids raise parents. The episode closes with reflections on surrender without passivity, responsibility without control, righteous anger, and the quiet power of fidelity. His final encouragement is simple and enduring: stay with your commitments, just show up for prayer, and trust that God is at work in your staying.

Ronald Rolheiser: Website + Books (New Book: Insane for the Light: A Spirituality for Our Wisdom Years)

Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: February 19-21, 2026 in Costa Mesa, CA

Family Age Chart PDF Download

Scripture Mentioned: John 21:15-19, Mark 15:37 + John 4:21

Books Mentioned: Domestic Monastery by Ronald Rolheiser, Sacred Fire by Ronald Rolheiser, Finding God at Home by Ernest Boyer Jr. + Naming the Whirlwind by Langdon Gilkey

Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalfatherhood.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from.