Lisa Bilyeu welcomes author, relationship counselor, and pastor Toure Roberts for an unfiltered conversation about what it truly means to be a high-value man—and how women can spot genuine green flags instead of falling for toxic cycles. With years of experience counseling couples through the ups and downs of partnership, Toure brings powerful insights into the emotional complexity of men, exploring how childhood, cultural expectations, and a lack of affirmation shape the inner worlds and needs of men in intimate relationships.
In part one, Lisa and Toure dismantle popular narratives about neediness, strength, and gender roles, offering both personal stories and practical wisdom. From the long-term pitfalls of viral, drama-driven content to the realities of male vulnerability, they explore what women really need to know about men—and how both partners can participate in building safe, affirming, and deeply connected relationships. If you’ve ever wondered why men seem to have it all together on the outside, but struggle to open up on the inside, this episode delivers answers that might just shift your whole approach to love.
SHOWNOTES
00:00 – Why focusing on green flags matters more than toxic red flags
00:31 – The trap of viral drama and the “Jerry Springer Effect” in modern content
01:16 – Oprah’s approach to long-term impact vs. chasing views
02:32 – The real responsibility of content creators: affecting culture meaningfully
07:17 – Toure’s experience counseling couples: What women misunderstand about men’s needs
08:03 – The myth of the simple man: Why men are secretly complicated and needy
09:37 – Internal battles men face with responsibility, identity, and the question: Am I enough?
12:01 – Toure’s personal story: The lifelong weight of being a strong provider
14:09 – The seeds of insecurity sown by critical father figures and lack of affirmation
17:49 – How childhood lessons shape adult relationships and unhealthy dynamics
19:48 – The difference between being a “mama’s boy” and toughening up—and why both energies matter
22:08 – Breaking down the damaging lessons young men absorb about emotions and love
24:16 – How being denied vulnerability leads to emotional suppression in men
25:16 – Early breakups and heartbreak: Toure’s inside view of trust and male friendships
27:26 – “I need you”: What happens when both partners acknowledge their need for one another
FOLLOW TOURE ROBERTS:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toureroberts/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ToureRoberts
Website: https://www.toureroberts.com
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