“You’re such a light and I feel like your flame is being extinguished,” said Maggie Reyes’ husband when she was experiencing burnout. For many, addressing their partners’ burnout and its impact on the relationship—stress, resentment, uneven distribution of responsibility, feeling unacknowledged—is as challenging as recognizing their own burnout. Today, Maggie, a master certified life coach, modern marriage mentor, and author of the bestselling book “Questions for Couples,” as well as the host of the popular podcast “Marriage Life Coach,” returns to FRIED to discuss how couples can navigate burnout recovery for the benefit of all involved.
Maggie will discuss how those suffering from burnout can start to vocalize and recognize their needs and wants, starting with small steps. Women, in particular, often find it difficult to speak up. Maggie will explain when it’s best to be direct and specific, when to be gentle and loving, and how to know when it’s time to take a break.
What should you do when both partners are burnt out, but one can’t—or won’t—acknowledge it? Tune in to today’s discussion to find out.
Ready to leave burnout behind for good? Join UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start reclaiming your energy and joy. Apply today! (https://bit.ly/unfryapply)
Quotes
- “What are the symptoms or the byproducts of burnout? If you think specifically in a marriage or in an intimate relationship, it’s the stuff you stop doing where the other person has to pick up the slack, so to speak. If you’re feeling a lot of resentment or they’re just piling on one more thing on top of you and you feel overwhelmed on a regular basis. For you it feels overwhelming, and for them it feels like they’re not being seen, they’re not being seen or being heard.” (4:57 | Maggie Reyes)
- “When we have enough self-awareness to know that we’re in it, there’s no subtlety. It’s ‘I’m drowning. I need help. You may not see it because everything is put together, you’re not feeling the effect of it at all because I’m still juggling all these balls, but everything’s about to drop.’” (8:48 | Maggie Reyes)
- “What’s hiding in the middle of burnout is, we don’t even know what to ask for because we’re so overwhelmed with everything. But the minute we have any awareness of, ‘I would like it to be warmer,’ then that’s my ask: ‘Can we just close the window?’” So, what is my ‘ask’ here? What would bring me relief here?” (10:27 | Maggie Reyes)
- “For some partners, their burnout is their identity. It’s so tied to who they are, how much they do is so tied to who they are that it’s almost like, to deal with their burnout would threaten their self-concept and their image of themselves.” (13:30 | Maggie Reyes)
- “If you have to be at a 2 for someone else to be at a 5, you need to run.” (30:39 | Maggie Reyes)
Links
Connect with Maggie Reyes:
https://maggiereyes.com/
https://www.instagram.com/themaggiereyes/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/maggiereyes001/
https://learn.maggiereyes.com/powerquestions
Connect with Cait:
Initial Call with Cait: bit.ly/callcait
Initial Call with Sarah: bit.ly/callsarahv
Burnout doesn’t have to be your story. Apply to UNFRIED: A Small Group Burnout Recovery Program and start your journey toward lasting recovery. Spots are limited—apply now! (https://bit.ly/unfryapply)
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
FRIED. The Burnout Podcast