The Divorced Girl Smiling Podcast Understanding the Hard and Soft Reasons for Divorce
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Aug 8, 2025 
In this insightful discussion, Dr. Ginny Wright, a seasoned clinical psychologist and discernment counselor, delves into the hard and soft reasons for divorce. She explains how discernment counseling aids couples in navigating conflicting desires about their marriage. Dr. Wright highlights critical issues like abuse, affairs, and addiction as hard reasons, while also exploring softer reasons such as drifting apart. Her emphasis on communication, self-reflection, and involving partners in change offers listeners a clearer path through complex marital dilemmas.
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Three A's Define Hard Reasons
- The 'three A's' (abuse, affairs, addiction) are framed as fundamentally incompatible with a healthy marriage.
- These hard problems almost always require serious resolution and often create urgency in the relationship.
Promises Are Not Enough
- Don't rely on promises of change alone to repair severe breaches like addiction or infidelity.
- Expect rebuilding trust to take a long time and require concrete, sustained actions.
Be Proactively Transparent After Betrayal
- Proactively expose yourself if you caused harm; don't wait to be asked for proof of change.
- Show up transparently so your spouse doesn't become the perpetual questioner or 'police'.