How Hard Conversations Bring Deeper Intimacy with Chad & Adaeze Brinkman | Ep. 664

When Chad & Adaeze Brinkman met while serving together on the worship team at church, they didn’t expect that they would one day get married. They also didn’t expect what it would be like to navigate a new marriage while facing cultural pressures as an interracial couple. But learning to have the hard conversations about their differences ultimately led to deeper intimacy. Today, we’re delighted to have Chad and Adaeze on the podcast to share their story, and equip you with practical ways to value different perspectives as a reflection of God’s design. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage. 

 

Episode highlights include: 

• Why listening to real stories of different experiences matters 

• How to become aware of your habitual assumptions 

• Realistic first steps to grow your perspective

• Why addressing our perspective on race is essential for the church 

• The relationship-building process of navigating tough conversations 

• How to repair the relationship after you’ve hurt your spouse 

 

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

 

Couples Conversation Guide: 

Main takeaway: Not every couple is in an interracial marriage, but every couple deals with differences. We get a bigger picture of God’s design when we stop fighting our differences and learn to value them. 

 

Questions to Discuss: 

1. What have you learned by listening to the diverse perspectives of others in your life? 

2. Are there places in your life where you encounter differing life stories and experiences among fellow Christian believers? 

3. How can you make room in your life for diversity that reflects the vision of God’s kingdom? 

 

QUOTES 

• “We will never know everything there is to know about the Lord, but the beauty is in the pursuit, the relationship and the discovery.” - Adaeze Brinkman

• “It’s a very humbling lesson to let your spouse have their own perspective, and give room for that to be different than yours.” - Adaeze Brinkman

• “Everyone does what they do for a reason. They think what they think for a reason.” - Chad Brinkman

• When we dig in we realize how much we have in common.” - Chad Brinkman

• “When Jesus returns, it’s not going to be a ‘White Heaven’ or a ‘Black Heaven.’ It’s a diverse Heaven.” - Chad Brinkman

• “Listening is the most important thing.”  - Dr. Kim Kimberling 

• “Are you growing? A beautiful way to do that is to rub shoulders with people that are different from you.”  - Adaeze Brinkman

• “The enemy knows there’s so much power in unity and diversity.”   - Adaeze Brinkman

 

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  

• We loved Chad and Adaeze’s book, White Boy / Black Girl: What Our Differences Can Teach Us. Grab a copy to read their story!

• It’s Spice things up in the bedroom with our limited-time ‘Break the Bedroom Rut’ Sexy BUNDLE!

• Don’t let negative assumptions tear you apart. Use our Free Printable 15 Better Assumptions to Make About Your Spouse to nurture a healthy mindset 

• Get Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!