SPFPP 382: Closed Mouths Don't Get Fed with Goddess Bats

Closed mouths don’t get fed! SO LADIES AND FEMMES SHOOT YOUR SHOT!

In this conversation with Goddess Bats (@actuallybats), we talk about various intersections of identity when navigating herpes, polyamory, sex work, rejection, and identity. Together, we go over:

• What does it feel like to be blamed for “giving” someone herpes—and how do you advocate for yourself one-on-one?

• Are statistics useful, or just a paradox when “everyone has it but no one talks about it”?

• Disclosing in polyamory: do you only date people with herpes? And what about play parties—when does disclosure really happen?

• Never being rejected for herpes—how is that possible? And does ghosting count as rejection?

• The difference between rejection from men vs. women, and why “no” sometimes gets misunderstood as “try harder.”

• Having “game” in sex-positive spaces compared to everywhere else—what does that even mean?

• What exactly happens at a sex party (and what’s it like to walk into one without knowing)?

• How shame from religion, being poly, bisexuality, and sex work all intersect with stigma.

• Why boundaries—clearly spoken—are the real markers of respect versus playful teasing.

We also ask: what can the stigmatized teach us about navigating freedom, authenticity, and connection?

If you’ve ever wondered what conversations about herpes, rejection, sex parties, and stigma is all like, check us out here.