Episode 298: The Keys To Good Sex, According To A Sex Therapist

Jun 4, 2024

Psychotherapist and sex therapist Todd Baratz discusses the keys to good sex, including communication, self-awareness, and selfishness. The podcast explores societal norms, empowerment, and the importance of authentic pleasure in sex. Topics include navigating conflicting sex advice, societal pressures, and the link between sexual fantasies and personal beliefs.

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ADVICE

Reject Sex Rules

Reject societal rules about sex, as they are often contradictory and unhelpful.
Prioritize personal desires and pleasure for fulfilling sex life.

INSIGHT

Masturbation Location Symbolism

The location where someone masturbates can reveal much about their relationship with their sexuality.
It reflects comfort levels, anxieties, and learned behaviors related to sex.

ANECDOTE

Fantasy Location

Justin Lehmiller's research shows that most people fantasize about sex in their own bed.
This suggests a need for comfort and security during sexual exploration.

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When it comes to having sex, there are a lot of “rules” that what we’re supposed to follow. But many of those rules contradict one another, making it hard to know what to do. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss whether we should even be following the “rules” of sex in the first place. We’re also going to explore how to increase your sexual self-understanding, as well as tips for having better sex.

I am joined once again by Todd Baratz, a licensed psychotherapist and sex therapist with an innovative approach to mental health and relationships. He runs the popular social media account @yourdiagnonsense and is author of the new book How To Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind.

Some of the topics we cover in this episode include:

What are the six keys to good sex?
What does it mean to approach sex as a performance, and how can we avoid this?
Why is it actually a good thing to be a little bit selfish when it comes to sex?
How can we learn to better assert our sexual desires and communicate boundaries?

You can visit Todd’s website to learn more about him and his work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.