When we’re hurt in our relationships, it’s normal to experience resentment. We don’t talk about resentment very much, we’re more likely to talk about anger, fear, or sadness. But resentment is a combination of all of those difficult feelings that causes as much harm to our relationships – and to our own well-being – as any other emotion. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick Hanson explore resentment: where it comes from, what it does, and what we can do about it.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:00: What is resentment, and what function does it serve?

5:50: Resentment as repressed emotion.

9:00: Resentment and power differences.

11:10: Aspects of resentment.

12:40: Costs of resentment.

18:50: Given the costs, why do people hold on to their resentment?

22:20: Resentment connects us to people.

28:30: Healthy aspects of resentment.

31:00: Feeling "good enough."

34:00: Working with resentment: what do you want your experience to be?

42:00: Resentment as an indicator of unresolved communication.

44:30: The social functions of resentment.

48:00: Metta as an antidote to resentment.

54:30: Disentangled forgiveness.

57:00: Recap.

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267: Bad at Drug Dealing